It Should Have Been Us (Completed)

L

Reminder. Quick transition of events and scenarios have been narrated by Elisha; mixed with certain flashbacks being italized. So prepare to understand it better. Every year of her med schooling has lots of stories happened behind. You will all be cleared by the coming chapters. For now. This is all I could give you hints into. Thank you so much.

Not legal.

"Pagod ka na ba sa akin?"
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"I swear to God. Once you stepped out of that door, you'll gonna lose me forever."
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"Please. Please. We can work this out. Just. Just don't do this. Parang awa mo naman. Ano pa bang kulang!"
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"I am now choosing her and there is no way I am coming back to you."
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"I am only doing this in order for her to live."

Agad akong nagmulat ng mga mata dahil ginising nanaman ako ng mga alalang iyon. The first one, I dreamt of myself asking Saint if he is already tired of me. That actually happened when we were on bed after he announced he got fired in his third job without reason, but we knew better who was behind it. It's either tito Santi or my father. The second and next were all blurry images of him begging me not to leave. The last two transitions of my dream were the most heart breaking part.Magkakaibang scenario pero pare parehong totoong nangyari. Napahilamos ako ng mukha. It has been what? Six, or seven years. At hanggang ngayon ay tinatanong ko pa din ang sarili ko kung tama nga bang pinakawalan ko siya noon. Pakiramdam ko kasi imbes na mahanap ko ang sariling kasagutan ay mas lalo lamang akong ginulo ng sarili kong desisyon. Hindi ko din alam kung napabuti ba siya o hindi. Two years of being together, we were like cats and dogs. Two years of separation and he fell out of love. In my fifth year in medicine, we got back together only for a reason he needed so badly. Mid of my fifth, she was on a critical condition and he had no choice but to get back to his old rich self and became my fiancee. Before my sixth year, I left. He found me by then but I still pursued my medicine. And now I am back. Alive and kicking outside. But still dead inside.

Yes. I may have achieved my ambition but deep inside me I am a loser for losing the only man who truly loved me aside from my father. Noong unang taon na wala na siya sa tabi ko ay halos mabaliw ako. Pero daddy and mommy were there to keep me on track. I got back up to my determined self to finish medicine when I heard my mom's cry every night while daddy cannot do anything but hug her tight and hushed her to sleep. Doon ko nakita kung gaano naapektuhan ang mga taong nasa paligid ko dahil sa mga desisyon ko. So I did everything just to stop mommy from crying. The last thing I want is see my mom in pain because of me. After kong makarecover ay bumalik na din sina mommy sa Pilipinas since the company needs daddy also. Hirap na nga sila sa paglipad per month noon. Nakakaawa naman sila kung di ko pa sila payagan. After all matatanda na din kasi sila. Hinihingan na nga ako ng apo! And my dad keeps begging me to run our business. Like I did not study medicine if I'd run an empire? Duh? Daddy talaga.

"I heard you're going back in the Philippines again."

Nahinto ako sa pagsusulat minsang mapadaan si Khalid sa opisina ko. Katatapos lamang ng operasyon namin sa isang dalaga at isa siya sa mga doktor na nakasama ko sa loob ng operating room. He is a cardiologist now by the way.

"Yeah."

Tipid kong saad. Napaupo siya sa may silyang nasa harapan ko.

"Is it for good now?"

Seryosong tanong niya sa akin.

"What do you think?"

Mapaglaro kong tanong. He grinned.

"Are you ready to see that fiancee dickhead of yours?"

Nabura ang ngiti ko at napatingin sa laptop screen na nasa aking harapan.

"Look, I don't want to meddle in your relationship. But as a friend I just want to give you an advise. Guard your heart from now on. You're on top of your career and you know you deserve better than be with someone who just needs you in order to cure his dying wife."

Malungkot akong napangiti.

"I guarded my heart a long time ago. That was the sole reason why we ended this way. I cannot blame him for punishing me, Khal. It was I who made the decision before."

Khalid knew what happened to me because he was there to comfort me all throughout my heartbreaks caused by the same man.

"Don't put all the blame on yourself. You only did that for his sake."

Mapait akong ngumiting muli.

"I did that in exchange of my own ambition,Khal. That was a fact I cannot lie of with. But look, here I am now. I am a neurosurgeon."

I said proudly but I cannot even be happy for myself. Napailing iling na lamang siya bago tumayo. Ibinulsa niya ang mga kamay sa kanyang white coat.

"I am still convice it was the most righteous thing you've done before because you can see by now how an ass he became."

Saad niya bago siya nagpaalam. Napailing iling na lamang ako sa kanya. Khalid. Being Khalid. He always has a thing to say about Saint kahit hindi naman niya talaga kilala ito.

"Oh. Anong nangyari sa iyo? Para kang nalugi. Kamusta ang first day of work?"

Tanong ko pagkauwi niya galing sa bago niyang trabaho. Padabog niyang itinapon ang gamit niya sa sofa at naupo. Itinakip niya ang braso sa kanyang mukha.

"They fired me."

Walang gana niyang sagot.

"Ha? Bakit da..."

"I don't know okay?!"

Nagulat ako noong tumaas ang boses niya bigla. Ni hindi man lang ako pinatapos. Maging siya ay nagulat din noong maunawaan ang ginawa. Agad siyang tumayo para lapitan ako at yakapin.

"I am sorry baby."

Napailing iling ako para matanggal sa isipan ang alaala niya. Here I am stucked in the middle of a traffic, thinking of him like what the hell is really wrong with you Elisha Caroline? I can hear different beeps from other cars dahil hindi na ito umuusad pa. Maya maya pa ay nagring ang cellphone ko sa may dashboard. I clicked something on my bluetooth headset and answered the caller.

"Hello?"

Nasa harapan pa din ang tingin ko habang nakikisabay na sa pag bi-beep.

"Elisha! Anak. Kelan ang uwi mo? Sa susunod na ang fitting ng gown. Nakakalimutan mo yatang ikakasal ka?"

Pambungad ni mommy sa kabilang linya.

"Mommy. Hindi ko nakakalimutan. Pero are you really sure you want me to get married with a married man?"

Naiinis na sagot ko. Alam naman nilang may asawa pa din iyong tao! Iyon nga lang ay comatose. Pero at least diba buhay pa din. At ang magandang balita, malayo na siya sa sakit na leukemia. Kaya kung sakaling magising man siya, saan ako pupulutin pagkatapos? I cannot marry him kasi napaimposibleng makasal pa siya sa pangalawang pagkakataon. Unless...

"Oh dear. Hindi naman sila legal na kasal!"

Right there. My mom answered my question stucked on my head.