It Should Have Been Us (Completed)

J

We don't know what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow.

Nakangiti akong pumikit noong bumukas ang pintuan ng simbahan kung saan gaganapin ang pag iisang dibdib namin ni Saint.

Knowing this we'll live above the world and all its sorrows.
I have prayed for all my life that we would be together.
Serving Him together seems so right.

"Anak. It's time."

Nagmulat ako ng mga mata pagkarinig sa sinabi ni mommy na ngayon ay naiiyak pero masayang nakatingin sa akin. I hugged her before daddy, who is now wiping his own tears.

"Oh..my cry baby."

Halakhak na asar ni mommy dito. Sinamaan siya ni daddy pero imbes na matakot ay tumawa pa lalo. Hindi pa nga sana tatantanan si dad kung hindi pa tinawag ang atensyon namin na kailangan ng maglakad.

Oh, oh yes, it's true.
He has chosen me for you.
Take my hand and we'll agree
That He has chosen you for me.

My eyes immediately found the eyes of the man I have ever loved in my entire life. He smiled at me. I saw how he inhaled all his emotions but his tears betrayed him.

Now and then I like to think about the day He saved me.
All the love that He bestowed and all the gifts He gave me
With all this I praise His name for putting us together
He knew we'd be together from the start.

Ngumiti ako ng sobrang lapad kahit pa naiiyak na din ako lalo na at nakikita siyang nasa ganoong estado.

Wait me there my love... Chino, his bestman, one of his trusted friends, patted him at the back to at least comfort him. He looked at him and smiled before looking at me again. He chuckled with joy while wiping his tears.

Oh yes, it's true
He has chosen me for you
Take my hand and we'll agree
That He has chosen you for me

Pahina ng pahina ang boses ng kumakanta noong tuluyan na kaming nakalapit. My mom immediately hug Saint. Siya na ang nagpatuloy sa pagpupunas sa mukha ni Saint.

"Take care of our daughter, anak."

Naiiyak na sambit ni mommy. Humalik si Saint sa kamay ni mommy pagkatapos magmano tanda ng paggalang bago bumaling kay daddy.

"It was always you I have ever wanted for my only child. Nakita ko kasi ang sarili ko sa iyo, kung papaano ka nagpursige para makuha ang pagmamahal niya, kung paano mo kayang iwanan lahat para sa kanya, hanggang sa isinuko mo siya pansamantala para lamang maabot ang mga pangarap niya. At kung paano ka naghintay sa isang tabi habang sinasarili mo ang bintang ng ibang tao na kay bilis mong makahanap ng ipapalit sa anak ko. You destroyed your own image so she can have a beautiful future kahit kapalit non ay wala ka sa tabi niya. I am so thankful hijo for being so strong for the sake of my daughter. Salamat. At patawad dahil isa ako sa naging hadlang ng pagsasama ninyo. Nagawa ko lamang iyon dahil iyon ang pinakatamang gawin. Pero masaya ako at nandito na kayo ngayon. You have my blessings, even before you confessed your love to her. Congratulation.

He has saved us
Washed us white as snow
Now we're together
Cause He has made it so.....

Kasabay ng pagtatapos ng mahabang speech ni daddy kay Saint ay niyakap niya ito. He patted him on the shoulder. Hindi ko na napigilan ang iyak ko kaya napatingin sila sa akin at pareho akong niyakap. Hindi pa nila alam kung paano ako papatahanin at noong naging maayos naman na ako ay kinuha na ako ni Saint sa mga magulang ko.

"Thank you daddy, mommy,  I love you both."

I hugged my dad before I let Saint take me.

"Today, we witnessed....."

Simula ng pari noong makarating na kami ng tuluyan sa harapan ng altar. Inabot ni Saint ang kamay ko papunta sa kanyang labi para halikan. Itinapat niya iyon sa kanyang dibdib pagkatapos at hindi na pinakawalan pa. I smiled and looked at him with awe bago bumaling muli sa pari na patuloy sa pagsasalita.

"Elisha Caroline Jimenez-Santa Leones, wow."

Natawa ang mga tao sa paligid sa paninimula ng vow niya. He breathe in again to control his emotion. He reached for my hand and kissed it again before looking at me.

"The first time I met you, I already knew that you will be the woman I will bring in front of our Creator. Loving a very independent and ambitious woman like you was never easy. I came to a point when I thought you're too much for me, which was very unusual to a guy. Men are confident, but not me at that time. You are just so beautiful, so smart, so charming, so you, it makes any man question his worth. So I did everything just to level to your standard, and while I was doing that, I did not only see a woman who has a beautiful face, I saw a woman with compassion and determination sa kahit na anong bagay na gustong makuha. I knew how much you wanted to become a doctor before so I let you do that. I planned and intend to let you soar and not clip your wings on me. While you were busy soaring, I was planning to build a future for us, but it did not happen."

Yumuko siya at huminga ng malalim bago nagpatuloy.

"We became toxic with each other to the point that we lost ourselves along the way. You committed to end your life just so you can make me go home here. It was a very dangerous decision it made me opened up my eyes and realized that it was I who failed in our relationship. It was I who made us toxic. It was never you, baby, it was never you. Sinasabi ko lagi sa sarili ko noon na hayaan ka, to let you soar and fly higher pero hindi ko napagtagumpayan iyon. I blindly caged you. Ginamit ko lamang rason ang kagustuhan mong magkasama tayo noon doon, I made that as an excuse and escape to my stupidity. Ginamit kong oportunidad ang insecurities mo at pagseselos mo para lamang pagtakpan ko ang sariling akin. Dahil ang totoo don, sa ating dalawa, ako ang talagang parehong nagkulang at sumobra. I am always jealous and insecure kapag may kwento ka patungkol sa mga lalake mong kaklase. Naiinggit din ako tuwing kasama mo iyong naging kaibigan mong si Khalid. Naiinis ako lagi sa tuwing binabanggit mo iyon sa tuwing kausap kita sa may computer! I had so many insecurities I kept hidden just to be seen strong and secured in our relationship. Pero hindi, hindi, Elisha. Mahina ako. Nagmamatapang lang. But when no one sees, I will just cry in a corner and blame myself. Kung sana hindi ako nagpadala ng emosyon ko noon, sana hindi natin kailangang maghiwalay. Kung sana nahawakan ko ng maayos ang relasyon natin, sana hindi tayo nagkasakitan. Kung sana lang, mas naging matatag ako na manindigang mas kailangan natin na seryosohin ang mga pansarili nating pangarap muna, sana hindi ka nawala sa akin. Pero hindi ko na maibabalik pa iyon. I can only compromise what we have now and what will we have in the future. I can only plan better and love you more in a very  patient, selfless and forgiving way. I can only decide maturely and give everything you deserve. And I can only compromise that this heart of mine never really stopped beating for you, and only you, baby. From the very beginning till my breath ends, it will always you. I love you so much Mrs. Santa Leones. Be my wife. Please be my Mrs. Santa Leones."

Napahalakhak ako sa huling sinambit niya, tunog pagmamakaawa pero may pilyong ngisi. Tinanggal ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa aking mga kamay. I held his cheeks and stared at him adoringly.

"I love you too. Yes. I do."

Maiyak iyak kong saad. Humagulgol na siya kaya pati mga tao tuloy ay nagsiiyakan na din. Niyakap niya ako ng sobrang higpit habang hinahagod ko ang kanyang likuran.