It Should Have Been Us (Completed)

Z

Naughty.

"Are you all sure about letting her lead the operation? She's still a junior doctor. We cannot risk the life of our patient for her."

Tahimik kong naikuyom ang aking kamao na nasa ilalim ng mesa. They have been discussing this matter since morning. Kanina pa kami nandito sa loob ng conference room. Hindi ko ginusto ito at mas lalong hindi ko gugustuhing pumayag silang ako ang maglead ng operasyon ni Bianca. Afterall, tama si Dr. Carson, I am still fresh when it comes to this. Papaano kung hindi ako magtagumpay?

"You can do it. Almost all of the boards trust your capacity to lead, Dr. Jimenez. You have shown exceptional performances all throughout your trainings and practices. You deserve this chance."

Napakurap kurap ako kay Dr. Wilson noong mahina niyang sabihin iyon sa akin. He patted my shoulder.

"You can do it. Don't mind Dr. Carson. He just wants to get the opportunity."

Napangiti na lamang ako sa Amerikanong senior doctor.

"We put our full trust to Dr. Jimenez. We believe she can lead this one. And the fact that the husband of the patient chose her, is already enough proof for us not to question her capability as a doctor. It is her time to put into practice what she had learned in medicine."

Masaya na sana. Kikiligin na sana ako sa ganda ba naman ng sinabi nila kaso narinig ko iyong salitang asawa! Iyon, iyon ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw kong tanggapin ito. Pero malaking break din ito sa career ko bilang isang doktor. Sa huli ay napagpasyahan nilang lahat na ako nga ang manguna sa operasyon. I almost complained. Sa araw na iyon, hiniling kong sana hindi na lamang ako ang tuluyang pinili kaso mukhang nakatadhana nga siguro talagang magkrus ang mga landas namin. We made random tests and checks on her brain before operation. It took us weeks before we set the date for the surgery.

"Dr. Jimenez."

Napatingin ako sa taong tumawag sa akin.

"It's time."

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago tumango sa kanya.

"I will be in O.R in a while. I will just make a short recall and review about her case."

Tipid akong ngumiti. Tumango naman ang isa sa makakasama kong nurse sa loob ng operating room, bago umalis sa opisina ko. Muli akong napatingin sa CT scan.

"Let's do this, Elisha. You can do this. This is your biggest break. Don't let this opportunity go to waste."

Kausap ko sa aking sarili. Ilang minuto pa ay lumabas na ako at pumasok sa O.R. Napatingin silang lahat sa akin. I can see their hesitations from their eyes. What do I expect? I am only a junior doctor yet. Wala pang madaming napatunayan sa medisina. Pero imbes na panghinaan ay kabaliktaran ang aking naramdaman. Lalo na noong makita ko muli ang mukha ng natutulog ng pasyente pagkatapos ng tests na ginawa sa kanya noong mga nakaraang araw. They must have injected the anaesthesia since we are about to start. May tatlo akong kasamang senior doctors at iba pang medical team para magbigay ng assistance. Pumikit ako at taimtim na nagdasal. When I started opening my eyes and walked near her, I know, by that time. My life will change.

"You begged me to do the operation not just because you trusted me. You wanted me to step up in medicine. You wanted me to succeed in my field. You forced me in your own secret way. "

There, I finally realized. It all made sense now. He smirked when I told him that.

"You prick. Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako katakot noong gawin ko iyon. I thought...I thought I will fail... I saw how the monitor flattened. I was so scared to even continue her operation."