Love Deferred

Chapter 9: What's this?

After sipping her coffee, Tanya nodded repeatedly. Ginagawa nya ito whenever she's thinking deeply or sometimes kapag speechless lang sya like now.

"Hey, say something." Steven said softly. Hindi sya mapakali dahil di na nakapagsalita si Tanya after learning na si Daniela de Guzman pala ang ex ng kaibigan nya.

She looked at him with an expressionless face at hindi alam ni Steven kung anong tumatakbo ngayon sa isipan ng kanyang kaibigan.

She would open her mouth as if may sasabihin sya but eventually she'll close it again since hindi din nya alam kung anong sasabihin nya o kung paano nya sisimulan kung ano man ang nasa utak nya.

"It was almost 4 years ago. I confessed na mahal ko sya higit sa kaibigan. She did not reject nor accept me. Ang sabi lang nya, wag daw kaming magmadali coz you know, andami naming goals na gustong matupad individually at ayaw din nyang ma-pressure. So for like 7 months ganun lang kami--walang label pero naging mas sweet kami sa isa't isa. Mas minahal ko din sya. I felt her love too. Hanggang sa isang araw, sinabi din nya na mahal nya ko at sobrang saya ko nung sinabi nya yon. Kaso after 2 months, biglang dumating yung opportunity nya sa broadway. Alam kong pangarap nya yon. Sino ba naman ako para pigilan sya di ba? Mahal ko nga eh. Kaya sinuportahan ko sya. And the rest of the story ay alam mo na." mahabang kwento ni Steven para maintindihan lalo ni Tan kung paano sila nagsimula ni Daniela. And with the way Steven told their story, Tanya confirmed something.

"O, bakit ganyan tingin mo?" napakunot noo si Steven with how Tanya looked at him.

She smiled..."I didn't know you love her that much." Tanya said softly.

"Dati yon." Steven opposed.

"Look at you. Still in denial." natatawang sabi ni Tan.

"Hindi na nga kase." pilit ni Steven.

"E bakit tayo nandito? Why did you bother calling me ng disoras ng gabi at nagdrive ka pa going Tagaytay para lang sunduin ako at maikwento mo yan?" Tanya said habang nakataas ang kanyang mga kilay.

"Kase..."

He's about to form a sentence pero wala syang alam idugtong sa salitang "kase".

"Allow me to complete it for you, Steven Chan. Kase...mahal mo pa rin sya pero dahil matagal na kayong walang communication akala mo wala na. You got hurt because of her. Pero Tebong, you didn't stop loving her. You just stopped being vocal about it and you made yourself believe na di mo na sya mahal dahil nasaktan ka nya. Niloloko mo sarili mo for the past years, tol." litanya ni Tan.

"That's ridiculous." naiiling na sagot ni Steven.

"All these years na kaibigan kita at curious na curious ako kung sino yung ex mo na nakwento mo while you were drunk, e si Daniela pala. Kaya pala ang tipid mong sumagot kapag tinatanong ka about her during interviews. Pero in fairness ah, ang galing nyong magtago. Artista nga kayo." she added.

"Can you blame me now that you know my reasons?"

"Ang hirap naman kase ng naging set up nyo, tol. Mali eh. Thinking about it, I understand why you hid it. But not being clear about your status? Hindi ko gets. Kung ako kase yon, kung isang katulad mo naman ang nagsabi na mahal nya ako, aba'y choosy pa ba ko? E Steven Chan yan o! Ready ka namang ipagsigawan sa buong mundo na mahal mo sya di ba?" sabay tampal ni Tanya sa pisngi ni Steven.

"Aray! Bat kailangan manakit?" reklamo ni Steven pero di naman talaga sya nasaktan.

"Arte nito! Ang sarap mong kutusin eh pero tampal nalang para di masyadong harsh! Ganern!" pagbibiro ni Tanya.

"So anong gagawin ko? I only have a day to ready myself sa muling pagkikita namin." nakakunot noong sagot ni Steven.

"Be professional. Ganun ka naman lagi sa trabaho di ba? Ang pro mo nga kapag on cam na tayo before nung sinusungitan pa kita di ba?" natatawang sagot ni Tanya habang inaalala ang pagtataray nya kay Steven noon.

"Uy grabe ka sa akin noon!" panunumbat ni Steven.

"Iihh...nagsorry na ko doon di ba?"

"Oo na! Ang judgmental mo kase." panunumbat ulit ni Steven.

"Eh kasi naman... Alam mo naman ang story of my life! Naku! Wag na nating alalahanin yon. Erase! Erase!" sabi nito habang parang may binubura ito sa hangin.

"Okay, okay. Move on na tayo doon."

"Nga pala, why did you stop communicating with her kase?"

Natigilan si Steven sa pagsubo sa cheesecake sa narinig na tanong ni Tanya at napatingin sa kisame bago ito sumagot.

"I saw something I wasn't expecting to see." malungkot na sagot nito na may halong pagkadismaya sa kanyang tono. Pati sa mukha nito ay kita ni Tanya ang nararamdaman ng kaibigan as if she's seeing his actual reaction nung nangyari ang sinasabi ni Steven.

"May I know... kung ano yon?" dahan dahang tanong ni Tanya.

"Haaaaayyyy..." he said draggingly.

"Hey, it's okay if you can't. I'll understand." she said assuringly while tapping Steven's hand.

"Sorry, tol. Ayoko na ring alalahanin eh. Para akong binabalik sa nakaraan pag naaalala ko yon. Even how miserable I felt, naaalala ko." he said sadly.

"Okay. No problem."

His eyes became teary and Tanya just found herself standing behind him and gave him a hug which Steven wasn't expecting but he appreciated the gesture. He felt comforted.

"You'll be okay, Tebong. You'll be okay." she whispered.

"Salamat, tol. Buti nalang nandyan ka." sabay lingon ni Steven kay Tanya.

Pagkalingon ni Steven ay nagulat si Tanya sa lapit ng mukha nito sa kanya. She felt a bit awkward in their position kaya kumalas ito ng marahan para hindi sya mahalata na bigla syang nailang. Matipid itong ngumiti at bumalik na upuan nito.

When she realized what she just did ay napamasid ito sa paligid nila checking if there are other customers on the second floor aside from them. Laking pasalamat nya ng mapagtanto nyang sila lang dalawa ang nandoon. She then checked her watch at almost midnight na pala. One and a half hours na silang nagkukwentuhan at napakabilis ng oras pag kasama nya si Steven.

After a while, inaya na nya si Steven na umuwi since late na rin at naramdaman na nya ang antok. Truth is, she's really tired from today's taping. Pinilit nya lang talaga na iaccommodate ang kaibigan nyang hindi mahindian.

Steven also noticed how tired her eyes look. Kaya naman hindi na sya namilit na magstay pa sila kahit isang oras pa. But he's really thankful that he met and found a friend in her.

It's almost 1am when they reached her condo. Hinatid nya ito hanggang sa pintuan ng unit nito.

"Salamat, tol. I really appreciate you so much." sabay yakap nito kay Tanya.

Nagulat man si Tanya but she returned the hug and they stayed like that for half a minute. It's like both of them savored that moment coz they felt comforted with each other's presence lalo na sya.

"Goodnight, tol. Pahinga ka na ah. Salamat sa oras. Na-appreciate ko ng sobra. Alam ko pagod ka na eh pero naglaan ka pa rin ng oras para sa akin." he said sincerely.

Hearing him saying what he said gave her a warm fuzzy feeling na di nya maintindihan kaya tumango lang ito at tipid na ngumiti.

"Sige na. Uwi ka na. Ingat sa pagdrive ha?"

Steven smiled and nodded then bid her goodbye.

Sa di inaasahan ni Tanya ay bigla syang hinalikan sa noo ni Steven na ikinagulat ng dalaga which left her standing in front of her door still bewildered on what just happened kahit ilang dalawang minuto ng nakaalis ang binata.

"Parang di yata ako makakatulog nito." bulong ni Tanya sabay hawak sa kanyang noo where Steven kissed her.