Transformers x Reader (On Hiatus)

TFP: Breakdown x Reader x Knockout

(Don't own the photo)
Description: You had lost the love of your life. Such pain brought you deep into depression, but light was slowly brought into your life again.

Edited: 8/11/21

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You felt pain. It was not emotional pain, but physical pain. This pain was starting to affect your everything. You could get out of bed if you needed to, but the problem was you couldn't motivate yourself too. Your heart was starting to ache more and more, and your eyes were getting harder and harder to open every morning. You couldn't even eat and if you could muster enough strength to possibly do so, you'd pig out and feel disgusting afterwards. You tried everyday to even possibly come close to feeling better like medication, therapy, seeing friends, and even changing your looks. Sadly nothing made you feel better. 

Once your friends came by to see you and when you looked like shit, you didn't even care. There looks of disgust and worry didn't even faze you, and with no more dignity to lose you gladly took in their criticism. You took each of their words to heart, but you knew there was nothing that could possibly save you from this constant ache in your chest. 

Your life was never the same after you lost the one thing that made your heart flutter and your very soul ache with love. Breakdown... Your sweet big soft Teddy Bear. You missed his cold metal hands, the way his digits would run down your back to comfort you. The way he would kiss you and run his digit through your hair. The way his yellow optics would scan over you in a loving manner. The way he would watch your delicate hands knead the bread, gently running the dough between the cutting board and palm. Delicately placing it into the tray by the oven, and closing the door with a large smile plastered on your face. Of course he couldn't fit into your kitchen or your household for that matter, but that didn't stop his gaze through your kitchen window. Oh how you missed the awkward smile he gave you once he explained that he couldn't consume your delicious looking treat. His wide gentle smile as your gaze fell toward the floor, primus, you would never forget the week he spent in the medbay after consuming the sweet rolls just to see you smile. 

Nothing was the same without Breakdown... You couldn't listen to your favorite songs without thinking of him singing with you, or just both of you dancing like idiots. You could remember his hand gently wrapped around your body as you slow danced to the most beautiful song he had played. His optics were the only light for miles around, even though the gentle music was playing through his stereos and filled the large silence around you two. He had the sweetest smile as he tried to gracefully move from side to side, twirling his body around as he hummed the lyrics to himself. His voice was music to your ears as he pressed a gentle kiss against your body, being careful not to harm you. You could still picture the radiating blush forming along his faceplates as he tried to recover from his missed step, nearly toppling over. 

You could still see the look on his face as Knockout had brought your small form near him before he was to leave on a mission, he had not spoken to you that entire morning. But you weren't going to let him ignore you any further. You were taken from off of Knockout's shoulder and placed gently into Breakdown's palm, speaking quickly and lovingly. He tried to reassure you nothing was wrong, but you knew since that morning but if he wasn't willing to speak about it you respected his decision. Even though he held a very concerned look in his optics as he stared down at you, but he tried to keep a loving smile plastered on his features. You couldn't imagine what was on his processor but it wasn't anything good, even if you had known it wouldn't have prepared you for that day. You would have cherished the kiss he gave you, his dermas gently pressing against your forehead so loving and sweet yet he lingered longer than usual. He had the most beautiful chuckle you've ever heard as you gently pushed him away, complaining not to be so lovey dovey while Knockout was nearby. Primus, when he spoke those three little words you swore it would've been the death of you if it wasn't for his chuckle that made you knees tremble and your face flush. You could still hear his voice as he leaned down to give you one final kiss before he left,