Last Girl Alive | Bangtan

32: You're My Tear

Holy shit.

Min Yoongi is crying? Actually crying? You can't move, frozen, still in the shock, not knowing what to do. You take in the sight, the tears rolling down his face and his lips quivering warning that he's gonna break apart any second now. In front of you, just you. You want to look around for the others, but you can't take your eyes off him. He looks like some devil that's just got a wing torn off and now is learning pain. A layer peels off and he looks more human. No more of that cool stature, that facade of carelessness.

Because Yoongi cared. Deep inside he cared more than anyone else. Deep inside all this affected him more than anyone else and you, you just reminded him of that.

You do the only thing you can think of doing. You sit down beside him and don't say anything, listening to his sharp intakes of breath as he tries to hold it back. Hold back his hurt.

Because he couldn't even cry in front of himself.

"Before That Day," Yoongi begins softly, looking out in front of him. You could hear the tremble in his voice, the way he spoke to mask his tears. "I...I was in love."

Love. Such a simple word with so much weight. A word you'd never thought you'd hear from him and yet somehow it fit him so well.

"There was this woman. I can't remember her face or who she was but...her voice. It haunts me like a bell from the heavens. It creeps in my heart, in my dreams. Sometimes I feel like she's still around or perhaps it's just me imagining things. But I loved her so much, her voice gives birth to a smile for the feelings I lost."

"I think that's the only good thing I can feel: love. Besides all this solemness and pain and loss." He sniffles, lifting a finger to his face to wipe away a tear.

"She was my fiancée. It's those kind of things, those people you don't forget no matter what. Like how Jin hyung feels about his children, it's something that was such a big part of me I could never forget it."

"I was a young boy with these foolish..." He laughs a little as he thinks of his older pathetic self. "Guy with these musical dreams but then...i had to go to the army. I was nothing but she,  she really made me feel like I could do it all and become something. "

"After That Day, I had hope that, like the others, she was still somewhere on the planet. Wandering, lost, looking for others, or maybe she found them already. Maybe she has her own group. I was restless to explore it but all Namjoon wanted to do was stay put, gather information, make assessments...all that. It pissed me off even more that everyone seemed to side with him for whatever he decided to do. And then we we...went out to sea..."

And he had a chance. A chance to find her in his voyage. That's why he'd been happier and showed my strength and interest.

"But now...now she's gone. She's really gone."

You let out a shaky breath, falling to the ground beside him. Everything is turning to dust. As everyone started to remember, everyone felt nostalgic. This world was breaking you each down bit by bit and you...

you were helpless.

You couldn't do anything. You couldn't save these angels who have come to treat you like a sister. Who had saved you from your vast loneliness and showered with all the care and love they spread amongst each other because in this universe you were the only ones there were to care and love for. They gave you everything and perhaps more than you'd known or ever wanted even in a world filled with 7.7 billion people.

They were being torn apart by their own pasts and memories.

And at some point it would take you as well.