The Girl in the Games (The Fandom Games)(THG,TBT,TFIOS,DIVERGENT,TWILIGHT.)

Chapter 12

When we walk inside, I am introduced with warm air. There is a wide space when you walk in. To the right is the living room and to the left is the kitchen. The walls are the usual wooden color that I have grown to love because it reminds me of home and a long hallway stretches between the two sections.

We all walk down the hallway to randomly picked rooms and walk inside. My room has a large king-sized bed with a bedside table next to it. A vanity sits against one of the walls and my dresser on the other.

I shut the door behind me and walk into the bathroom. It is a large,bright,bathroom with a extra large tub. I've never seen anything like this in my life. My old home was run down and the walls looked like they were going to collapse any day.

I walk out of the bathroom and head over to the bed and sit down. I see the little notebook that Finnick was talking about,right beside me with wooden pencil tucked between the pages. The cover of the notebook is black with a silver spine. I pick it up and open it to the first page. It's completely blank with no lines. It looks so new and pure that I sniff it unconsciously and take in the freshness of the pages. I always find it weird how a book has this certain scent that makes you think of home. Not like the home I have which is filled with starvation and pain, but like a home where everyone is at peace and there is no war raging outside your windows.

I set the notebook down in my lap and grab the pencil that I had set next to me. I may as well start writing since I don't have anything better to do. I close my eyes for a second and think of all the things that I do remember from my past, but all I can see is pain and darkness. Trying hard means entering into that cold, darkness that I try so hard to avoid, because once I'm in it, it's like there is no escape. I've seen it.

I open my eyes and look toward the floor. They want me to tell about myself in this little notebook. I don't want to do it, but I know that it'll help. I have wanted answers for many years, but to have those answers will come with a price. This is my price....my past. It's time I face it.

I look down at my notebook and fold the first page underneath it. I grab my pencil again and begin writing starting with my name.

"Alexandra Parker, preferred name, Alex, age 16, female, dark brown hair, blue eyes, my hobby is reading and my favorite animal is a deer. Since I'm just going to go off into nonsense,I'm going to start talking about my past.

" My father died when I was 10 from running into the electrical fence that surrounds the Districts. I don't believe that he died because of that though, because he wasn't burned up, and he was wanted dead for illegal hunting by several Peacekeepers over the years. Since then, I have tried keeping me and my mom alive as long as I could since she had been out of a job for awhile. I somehow managed to keep us alive until she found a job and came out of her passive state. Since she came out of her passive state, she has been joyful and ,just like everyone in the new District 12, happy about the games. It's highly abnormal for anyone to be that way.

" When I was 14, I was told that I had some brain damage that included memory loss so they gave me a shot to knock me out, and when I woke up they said I had lost my memory entirely. Over the next few years I actually regained some of my memory but not entirely. I remember bits and pieces like how I originally came from District 10, but that's it.

" That's all you truly need to know about me that should be included in whatever research that your suppose to do on us."

I shut the notebook and place it and the pencil on my nightstand as the tears trail down my face. I'm breaking now. I can feel the pain seep into my skin and burn as it does. My breath becomes so shaky that I think I'm going to explode into a rampage. I've done that before just after my father's simple little funeral. I started screaming at the top of my lungs and started throwing things across the room I was in. I remember feeling relieved afterward but the pain still never truly went away. I felt it deep inside me just bottling up over the years. I can't even imagine what it would be like now. I know that no one wouldn't be able to stop me. I might even hurt someone if I do.

I lay down and push the covers out from underneath me and cover myself up, with the covers over my head. I start crying as much as I can just to get the pain out. I'll do this all night if I have to, but I will not break more than I am now. All I can do now is hold onto the hope of future peace. Maybe one day there won't be any more of this....this pain.

I close my eyes as tight as I can as I cry with whimpering sounds escaping my mouth ever now and then and wait for sleep to somehow consume me.