Chapter 21. Words Unsaid

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I guess he figured I would come for some fresh air and planted a jacket and blanket just in case I did come here. Sneaky bastard.

"Its because generally you are up to something. Please just tell me what is on your mind so you can just get it out of your system." I ask him, a little tired and not in the mood for games.

"I can tell you're tired. Sorry I don't mean to be rude. Look I just want to get to know you alright. I want to know you and see if you will go out with me, I guess." He says a little unsure still of what he really wants.

"Look if you don't know what you really want, I will be going. Good night Noah." I tell him as I take the jacket off, place it on the blanket and start to walk away from him.

"I know what I want. I just don't know if its what you want." He calls to me as I got to the volleyball court. I stop without saying a word to him. I just stand still, frozen from what he could possibly have to say. Why do I feel so nervous now? I clench my fists and try to breath evenly, so I can steady my nerves a little. It didn't seem to work well because I started to shiver from the cool breeze.

"Joanne. This is very hard for me to say out loud because of how strongly I feel. I never know where to start and whenever I want to, it has never been the right time. Or your friends are with you. Joanne I am scared to say how I really feel about you." He starts to say, very nervous and scared. Why do I fear what he has to say? I think he is trying to steady his nerves but the pause seems to long.

"Just tell me what you have to say Noah this is killing me." I say without looking at him. I'm afraid I will break down or collapse or something if I look at him. Why am I shaking now? It doesn't seem to be from the cold anymore.

"I have felt this way for a very long time now and I don't know why its killing me this much to hold it in." He continues trying to work through his issue at the same time. It sounded as if he was getting closer to me. Tears start to fall from the corners of my eyes because of the tension that has been created now.

"Noah I am going to leave right now if you don't tell me what the hell is going on." I tell him as my voice shakes the whole time. I don't want to stand here but I can't seem to walk away either. He places the jacket back on my shoulders to help with the shaking. His hands didn't leave my shoulders. I turn my head to look at him a little bit.

There is some rustling about in one of the bushes nearby. I can tell Noah isn't going to tell me anything now. He removes the jacket, knowing I would let it drop as I run back to my apartment. I didn't hear him coming after me at all. The tears start coming now. I don't even know why they are. I mean it was a pretty normal dance. I was with friends, didn't have anyone special for a slow dance, and then went outside to clear my head. The only difference is Noah was there and didn't say anything. Why couldn't he just say what was bothering him? I open the door and go right to my room.

I quickly change, close my door and fall onto my bed as the tears spill out. Why did he have to pause for so long? He could have easily said something. Anything at all and I wouldn't be crying about something that I shouldn't be. I wouldn't feel like theres something missing from me. I lay in a ball on my bed as the tears fall down. After a while I must have fallen asleep at some point.

I can feel someone tapping me on the shoulder and I wake up. That was definitely an uneasy sleep for sure. I look up and I see Aimsely. Only Ami. I sit up and rub my eyes. They feel as though I've been crying all night. I stretch and sit cross legged on my bed as Ami brings a chair over to sit on.

"What happened to you last night? You were on the bleachers and the next second you were gone." She asks me a little worried.

"I needed to get some fresh air, so I went outside. Noah had floating arrows pointing to where he was so I followed them and we talked. He was going to tell me something important but couldn't. Then when he was going to say it there was some rustling in the bush and he froze up. So, I came back here. It was very confusing and still is because I have no idea what could be such an issue to him that he couldn't just flat out tell me. I don't think he is going to tell me it now." I say trying to remember what happened last night.

"Oh, I see. That would be very confusing and that's why you ran in here last night with teary eyes. Look whatever he has to say I'm sure he will tell you when he feels its right." She says trying to comfort me. Its not really working but I'm glad she is trying. In the past he might have been able to say whatever came to mind, but for some reason now he can't.

"Yeah, I know. Now I'm just going to wonder what the heck he wanted to say until then." I say a little down still. I hope the nerves go away. My clock says its 7:30 in the morning. Ugh it feels like I got no sleep last night.

"I know but hey its almost time for school. You better hurry up because it starts at 8. Don't worry the first day is usually the easiest remember." Ami says as she gets up and goes to my door.

"Alright." I say as she left. I get up and dress quickly. I get my bag, leave my room and stand by my friends at the door. We leave and go to school. The main area is crowded now with everyone trying to find where their first class is. The day went faster then I had expected. Each class was roughly the same concept. The teacher introduced themselves and then we had a little introduction into each of the classes.

The three of us have all our classes together. Its weird because I thought Devon was in my morning classes but he hadn't shown up today. So maybe he got it wrong or had them switched. Only he knows. Noah is in both my afternoon classes. Ugh, that should be interesting. Every class has a planned seating arrangement except our first period class. The second morning class I am sitting beside both my friends. Both afternoon classes they are in the back and I'm in the front. For some reason both teachers decided that I had to sit beside Noah. Not what I would have chosen. But thats only Monday. Tuesday is our long day; Wednesday is our short day; Thursday and Friday or the same as today. Hope the semester goes well.

The day comes to an end and I walk back to my place on my own. I couldn't find either of my friends but nothing I can do about it. They might have gone to get on the teachers good sides. They will do what they want. I walk up to the building and Noah is standing in front of the door with a lily in his hand.

When he sees me coming, he holds the flower out for me. Thats nice of him to do. I grasp the stem and he let go of the flower. I smell it and it smells nice. I smile to him as nicely as I can without being to curious or annoyed that he is trying to get me. He smiles back and opens the door. I walk in and go into my dorm. He goes into his own place. Why is he doing this? Doesn't he get that I am not going to say yes be mine or anything like that to him. I put the flower into a vase that appears on the island. I fill it with water and put it back on the island with the flower in it. He is at least trying. He's the first guy to ever get me a flower.

Over the next few weeks, whenever we had class together, he would let me have my space, but also be curious as well without letting me catch on too much. Every day in those few weeks he stood outside the building with a flower in his hand for me. He would do this whether it was pouring, hailing or if my friends were with me. He didn't seem to care whether or not I like him. He seems to just want me to know that he isn't going to let up or stop. I'm glad he listened to me though that he had to prove himself. It warms my heart to know he hasnt changed his feelings or his attitude for wanting me. The first month of school seemed to have flown by.

Classes are going well and are fun. Tryouts started for volleyball. The girls and I made it in no problem. Its October 3rd and we are starting to get into different types of scenarios for Social work. I'm enjoying the classes. The human brain is quite interesting with how it works.

Our last period teacher dismissed us early from class and gave us an assignment that's due Monday. Thats good because tomorrow is my 23rd birthday. He told us we can choose one partner and then pick the day we present on Monday. The class filed out just happy to get out early. The project isn't too hard. We have to draw a brain and whatever activities we enjoy doing, we indicate what part of the brain we use and where in that side it's used. So it won't be too hard. As I leave the class, I see my friends talking and walk to them.

"Hey. Do either of you want to be my partner?" I ask, knowing full well that they probably already picked each other.

"Sorry Jo but we are working together. I'm sorry." Aimsely says with a sigh.

~~I enjoy writing this chapter. Such a sweetie. :) Please rate if you enjoyed and feedback is always welcome~~

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