Love at First Crunch | SooKai

33

Ashamed, that's all Soobin felt right now.

He was sitting on the foot of his bed with his head hung low; Huening Kai sat on a stool in front of him. The younger boy was cleaning and bandaging Soobin's hands.

"I don't think you broke anything, but this might sting a little bit" Huening warned before he began cleaning Soobin's knuckled with a cloth dipped in rubbing alcohol. Soobin winced which caused Kai to pull the cloth back slightly, but once he realized Soobin was okay, he continued.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be" Kai looked up and smiled assuringly at his boyfriend before looking back at Soobin's hands to clean.

"He was harassing Yeji, and it annoyed me, but then... then he started talking about you and it just-" Soobin bit his lip and inhaled deeply through his nose to calm himself. "-I just lost it."

"What did he say"

"A bunch of things, the bastard wasn't even making sense. One minute he called you a fag and the next he was talking about you being hot"

"Are you okay?" The question caught Soobin off guard.

"Yeah.. I am" He answered.

"Good" Kai started bandaging Soobin's hands now. Soobin was impressed at how skillfully Kai wrapped his hands.

"You're really good at this"

"When I was younger, Jungkook would come home with cut knuckles and such from fighting. He bandaged them himself for a while but he sucked really bad, so I learned and wrapped them for him"

"You shouldn't have to wrap mine or his wounds because of our dumb actions" 

"It's okay, you take care of the ones you love, right?" Kai finished wrapping Soobins hands. Soobin brought his hands up in front of his face and examined his wrapped hands. The bandages weren't too tight, nor too loose. The wrapping was done so carefully as if his hands were a Christmas present.

but his hands weren't the gift here; the real gift was Huening Kai.

"I could have killed him"

"Oh my gosh, Soobin; but you didn't! let's just drop it, okay?"

"But if I did then-" Kai jumped up from the stool and threw himself on top of Soobin. Soobin landed on his back on his bed with Huening Kai on top of him.

"Why were you at the mall today?" Kai asked, looking down at Soobin. The only thing Soobin could focus on was the boy on top of him, and his erratic heartbeat. Soobin put his hands on Kai's hips because he didn't know what else to do with them.

Kai could feel them shaking.

"T-Taehyun invited me out, why were you?"

"Beomgyu and I went to buy Yeonjuns graduation gift; then we saw Yeonjun and Beomgyu ran away..." Kai bit his lip and wondered if he should say what he was about to say. He said it anyway. ".. and Jin and I ran into each other and he invited me out"

"Oh... what did you talk about" Kai chuckled.

"You.. he said he misses you"

"I bet he does"

"And you do too, and you can't deny it" Soobin turned his head to the side so that he wasn't looking at Kai.

"And if I do?" Kai put his hands on Soobin's cheeks and made the boy look at him.

"When you miss someone, you go to them" 

"I-It hurts Kai"

"I know him leaving hurt, but he's here now. You don't have to forgive him-"

"It's not him I don't forgive. It's myself" Huening Kai knit his eyebrows together in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Soobin moved his hands off of Kai and covered his face. He took a deep breath before speaking again. 

"Jin's ex boyfriend was abusive. He would... he would just beat him; with his fists, or a metal pipe- anything he could get a hold of. Jin lied for him, but we all knew; I knew, and even then I didn't do anything about it-" Soobin moves his hands and clenches them into fists, slamming them to his sides. "-instead of taking my anger out on that asshole, I took it out on everybody else. I was a coward. Then, he left. Him and just about everybody else."

"It's not your fault that he was abused"

"Yeah, but I didn't do anything about it. I turned a blind eye like a fucking coward. The person I loved was getting hurt and I didn't do anything."

"You were just a kid" Kai moved so that he was lying next to Soobin. He cuddled up against his and put his hand on Soobins stomach. 

"I can't even look at him because i'm so ashamed" Soobin finally admitted "ad even to this day i'm a coward. I hide my shame and guilt with hate because it's easier to hate him than admit my mistakes.. it's fucked isn't it?" 

"You have to tell him this Binnie. You should have seen him today; he looked like he was falling apart"

"I'm scared"

"I'll go with you" 

"Y-You will?"

"Of course" Kai smiled "We could convince Jimin to come along as well-"

"That won't be happening anytime soon. Their situation is more... complicated"

"That's okay, let's just focus on you then"

,,,,,,,,,

A/N

Ahh it's a filler chapter but let me just say....

THANK YOU FOR ONE THOUSAND VOTES not gonna lie, I cried a little bit <3 I want to make a special chapter but I'm stumped on ideas ;_; maybe a Q and A? 

OH and also, after a lot of thought, i've decided to give Jimin, Jin, Jungkook and all them their own story because their story itself is complex and would take up too much of this story (This is SooKai after all) but don't worry, they will still play their roles in this book, so keep a look out for that book to be published haha, and of course our precious TOMORROW X TOGETHER will also be in that book too <3