Love at First Crunch | SooKai

48

"There's no way you did that!" Kai laughed out loud.

"Believe it or not" Soobin smiled sheepishly while shrugging nonchalantly.

"I can't believe you threw a stink bomb in middle school and got school canceled for three days"

"AND I didn't get caught"

"Choi Soobin, you are something else"

"I really was a little shit, I sort of feel bad you know? all those teachers didn't deserve all the things I put them through"

"But you've changed" Kai reminded. Soobin nodded his head but his face looked to be in discomfort. "What's wrong?"

"... do you think people can actually change?"

"Of course, my Hyung did, and so did you"

"but it doesn't change all the horrible things that I did"

"Well, true, but you're trying to better yourself. That's all you can do. My dad told me that as long as you try your best then it's okay!"

"You're an angel. I really wish I could hug you" Soobin had woken up not too long ago from his nap after his panic attack. Kai didn't want to drop the sunject but didn't know when was the right time to bring it up again. He decided it was now or never.

"Soobin, you had a panic attack because of your... parents right?" The air became serious.

"No.." Soobin lied

"I know it was. It happened after Namjoon brought them up. He didn't say much about them but it was still enough to cause you to have a panic attack" Kai said softly "If you don't want to talk about them then thats fine-"

"my parents were both gang members, from what I heard they weren't good people. My dad went to jail for life when I was three for murdering a man and his wife, and my mom was a druggie. She abandoned me when I was four, and overdosed when I was five. Then I was going from foster home to foster home. Eventually, I ended up finding Jimin and the others and Jimin just naturally took me in. His dad has lots of money obviously so it was easy to get custody of me. Jimin has taken care of me since"

"Do you have any memories of your parents?" Kai asked

"Not really. I remember watching TV  while my mom was in the kitchen cooking meth... I don't remember anything about my dad except for one memory of him backhanding my mom."

"I'm sorry for bringing it up"

"You don't have to apologize, you did nothing wrong.." Soobin tried to laugh but it came out forced and sad. He licked his dry lips before hesitantly speaking again. "When I was younger nobody ever let me forget the things they did. I guess they were so horrible that a lot of people knew about them, I don't know, but I remember some of the families I stayed with would tell me that I was going to either end up in jail like my dad, or dead like my mom. It made me angry, so I decided to become what they all said.. you know like.. nobody forgot what they did, what if thats how it is with me too?"

"You're not your parents. You are Soobin, and so what if some people don't forget? I will be by your side, and so will Beomgyu, Yeonjun, Taehyun, and our hyungs."

"I swear if you kicked me in the face it would make everything I say sound like poetry" Kai giggled. His laugh stopped suddenly.

"My parents died when I was ten. they were going to pick me up from school, and a semi ran into them. It crazy you know? they were so bright, always laughing and smiling. Then in a second, they never will again."

"I'm sorry.."

"Jungkook turned his life around after. Quit stealing and got an actual job, went to college while taking care of me and eventually opened a flower shop. People can change Soobin, you have to stop beating yourself up over the past"