Out Of My League (Under Revision) (Book 1)

Chapter Forty-Two

Colton's POV

I wasn't good enough for her. I'm not good enough for her.

But you know you have fallen in love with her.

I didn't know how this girl pulled me in so easily.

"I love you."

When she told me those words, I thought it was a simple mishearing but when I looked down at her, I realized that this girl really does love me.

The thought was weird. Hell, it still is.

Maybe it's that fact of knowing that Elliana didn't trust freely and knowing I have earned both virtues from her is amazing. She shouldn't have been taken for granted.

People saw her as lonely and grumpy.

I'll admit that she is sassy. She is just about the only girl to ever sass me and not stare at me like I was a prized diamond.

I think that's what intrigued me in the beginning. What intrigued me was that she didn't immediately get caught by my charm and I promise that I'm glad she didn't.

If she did succumb to my charms, I probably wouldn't see her for the beautiful and perfect girl she is, but I would have seen her as another toy.

You did in the beginning.

My views changed.

I needed some time to myself.

I'll admit that I actually want to go back to Elliana and hug her and just show her any kind if affection I could.

I walked out the door and got into my truck.

As I drove to the only place I could think of, I realized how weird it was not seeing Elliana in the passengers seat.

She wasn't in the passenger seat bouncing her fingers in anticipation, she wasn't inching her fingers towards mine trying to catch a finger in the crook between hers. She wasn't napping, resting her head along the seatbelt. She wasn't glancing at me every so often.

She's not here with you.

That made me sad.

I didn't deny the fact that I wanted her near me.

She looked at me differently. She looks at me as if I'm a gift to the world and I am in no way a gift. She didn't see me as a monster.

She didn't cower away from me as if I was a monster once she knew about Carter.

Instead, she listened. That was and still isn't something I'm accustomed to.

She understood that it was out of self defense.

She still does.

There is only thing keeping me from forgiving myself.

Carter didn't deserve it.

Carter didn't deserve to die.

He was manipulated and everything he got, he didn't deserve.

As I hopped down from my truck and walked the short distance to the beach, I debated going back and grabbing a cigarette.

She hates cigarettes.

They're not of any good significance to her. They're significant but it's just bad. It brings nothing but a bad memory.

I decided against it.

I should throw those out.

Teenagers.