Out Of My League (Under Revision) (Book 1)

Chapter Forty-Four

I sat in my room eating Domino's pizza.

It's Eleighna's favorite kind of pizza. It's what we ate the day she was diagnosed with cancer; the day she was diagnosed with that sickening illness that I wish just didn't exist. I hate cancer. It took someone I love away.

She should have stayed.

She should have stayed and grown up to graduate and she should have gone to a performing arts school so that she could become a professional dancer.

But she didn't and she's not going to.

That's the horrible truth I'm facing right now.

All of us - Jace, Colton, Mason, Kara, and I - will go on with our lives while she's six feet underground. Why did she have to get that one gene that caused it?

The only thing that I could think of was that it was for a reason but I didn't know that reason.

I looked back at the pizza and realizing the delicious taste of Dominos pizza in my mouth, I spit it out back into the box.

I took the box and scrunched it up, while getting up to go throw it in the garbage outside.

As I walked to the trashcan and threw it in, I tried to get the taste of pepperoni, cheese, tomato, garlic, and bread out of my mouth.

I spit out what I could onto the ground. Any person walking past would look at me sympathetically because I looked like I had the stomach bug but that was not the case.

I felt like it was wrong. I felt like just eating that pizza was wrong. I felt as if I was celebrating her death.

If anything, I wish she were still alive.

I wish that the Chemo had worked but it didn't.

I wanted to curl up into a ball right here and now and just cry, but I couldn't. I hurriedly walked my way back to the house and got dressed in shorts and an Ed Sheeran T-shirt with converse.

I didn't care for how my hair looked right now.

I got my keys from the kitchen and walked out to my Camaro.

When I sat down in my car and closed my door, I don't know how long I sat there in the drivers seat.

I knew where I was going but I didn't want to go. The thing was that I have to.

I have to go.

After maybe twenty minutes of hesitation, I finally put my key into the ignition and turned it, soon letting go knowing that I couldn't mess up my engine.

I slowly put on my seatbelt and saw the joggers run past. They had done maybe five or six laps in the twenty minutes or so that I had been sitting here. They probably thought that I was insane or something. I mean, you see a teenage girl in the front seat of her car, with swollen red eyes, sobbing and sniffling, she's bound to have issues that she needs to work out.

I started my drive to my targeted destination.

The seatbelt pressed against my neck, only making my throat feel tighter with the amount of crying I was doing. My throat felt like it was closing up with every single sob.

Don't cry.

Stop crying.

Stop fucking crying.

As much as I demanded myself to stop crying, it didn't matter. The tears rolled down my face like boulders go down a hill - fast and unstoppable.

I miss you, Eleighna.

I miss you so damn much.

I should have spent more time with you and I should have told you all about the shitty things I have been through.