Crushing On You

Chapter 41

Back at the party, Jesy sat outside replaying everything that just happened over and over again.

The kissing, the teasing, the love making, the exchanges of dangerous 'I love you's between two people who were not allowed it. She took comfort in those thoughts but squirmed and held her aching head by the words that Leigh argued with her over.

Not stable enough to date you? What do you mean? She thought of her brain scan results and what Nicole had told her during her first session. I need a reality check?

Her head throbbed and pulsed with pain and her lost state did not permit her to know why this was happening. Words were just floating through her mind. They were torturing her at this point and while the spoke over each other over and over she saw Leigh kissing her and giving her love. It was driving her insane.

She looked to her bandaged wrist. The bandage was under her wrist band. It was an accident guys . . . The words kept coming. Was running away really a bad idea? Was she really not okay? I know I'm not but I'll be fine once I have you . . . But her very lover was saying that she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Talk to your mum . . .

Jesy held her head sides and kept her knees up. M-my mum . . . no one understands! Her mother's face floated through her mind. How the woman aged over the years even though she still looked pretty good for like eighty.

Her mum had hit her in the face. Talk to your mum . . . "N-no . . ." She said in a whisper.

There's hope . . . "N-no . . ." In her mind there was no hope. All she saw was darkness and the light at the end of the tunnel would have to be found because it was nowhere to be seen right now.

Chubs . . . you know me better than all of them. Is what you're saying true? Her thoughts were driving her insane here. She wanted to rejoice in the love she made with the only one she wanted but she could not fully enjoy it since her thoughts were like this.

I . . . need . . . to be . . . alone.

"Jesy?"

Jesy's eyes were shut. I need to just . . . think and . . . be alone. Leigh's face came to mind. Talk to your mum Jesy. "I-I love you. Y-you're all I need . . ."

"Jesy!"

Jesy screamed then looked to her side. There she saw a pair of legs.

Her eyes moved up and she made out Ray Ray staring down at her in concern.

"Are you okay?" The guy held out a hand to help her up.

Jesy always tried not to act like how she felt around her friends. This must have seemed weird. "Uhh . . . yeah." She took his hand then stood up, feeling herself being pulled out of the deeper part of heavy water.

"You're sweating." He used his hanky to wipe her face down. "Doing okay? Is the hangover catching you already?"

Jesy gulped. "I . . . I don't know." Everything seemed different now. "Is the party over?"

"No. Everyone is still here, besides Yoongi, Michael, Jimin and Prod. They left but the majority of the guests are on their seventh round of drinks. You know these things don't end until six. We still got two hours." Ray held her steadily because he was sure she would fall over if he let her go. "What's going on? You don't look too good?"

Jesy didn't feel good either and this wasn't a hangover. "I'm fine." She shook her head. "Why are you here exactly? Were you looking for me?" She tried to focus on his face but he was split in two in her vision.