Shy Side // Jikook

Guns For Hands

"Yoongi..."

"Ssh Jimin it's okay..."

"But Yoongi-"

"Jimin. Shut up"

I awoke with a fright and all my senses heightened. The feel of my hair stuck to my forehead, drenched with sweat made me sick to my stomach. I could feel his hands on me and it send shivers down my spine.

However, the hands I were feeling weren't his but Jungkook's. He laid beside me with one arm draped across my lap and his head rested by my side. Every now and again his nose would scrunch up ever so slightly, he made the most cutest expression when he did.

Letting out a long sigh I ran my fingers through my hair, pushing it back to exposed my forehead; although my mind made my head feel like it was caving in.

Beg for forgiveness like the pathetic whore you are Jimin.

Hey Jimin lose some weight yeah? Your getting chubby again.

Ah it's back again... 

Jimin why are you even alive? You're a waste of space.

Letting out a big sigh, I carefully lifted Jungkook's arm from across my lap. I panicked as he started to stir but thankfully he remained asleep.

I stumbled a few times as I made my way to the bathroom, a place where everything always, went down hill. It didn't take me long to find exactly what I wanted. It sat on the bench shining ever so brightly and it taunted me.

Just do it loser.

And so I did. I grasped the blade between my shaking fingers as I rolled up my shirt to expose my already scarred stomach.

There was only one word to describe it, ugly. Scars littered my stomach which ranged in length and depth. Stretch marks sat on my hips just to match the self inflicted marks.

I hated it.

It was disgusting, I was the disgusting one. It was addicting, I was the addict.

But unlike some I didn't do it because I felt numb, because I needed to feel something. No, I did it because when I cut open my own skin my mind went completely silent. There was no hateful thoughts, no anger, no sorrow, no shame, there was just, nothing.

And I relished in it, it was my peace, my escape, my one and only out. I knew from the bottom of my heart that it was wrong, that hurting myself wasn't the answer but that few seconds of silence were something I treasured.

Once that moment ended however, I started to cry in frustration and sorrow. Frantically running my fingers through my hair as I would fall to the floor.

This was me.

A broken and unloved mess. I only have my self.

And sometimes that's enough and sometimes I just wished that there was someone who would sit by my side and just tell me

It's okay...

Hi~

So I'm not dead, as it would turn out. So sorry for not updating :/

Also i don't promote self harm because the way this Jimin character is represents myself.

I'm a self-harmer and I pray that if anyone else is feeling this way please, PLEASE, message me and we can help each other.

Or.

We can become lit friends okay? Pm me.

Anywho~ love everyone and hope you are all well

Oh! Thanks for all the reads you guys are the best!!!