Scars~Prinxiety

So Big, So Small~Roman

TW: mentions of fainting, mentions of abuse, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of eating disorders, mentions of death

"Goodbye, goodbye, now it's just me, and my little guy" 

My eyes open and the first thing I see is Patton's face, red and filled with tears, which was a rare sight. He never let himself cry in front of other people, he wanted to seem happy, constantly. The only other time I've seen him cry was directly after an argument with Logan and even then, he kept on trying to smile through the tears.  The next thing I see is everyone's eyes on me, some filled with concern, others filled with shock, there's only one other person who isn't staring at me and that's Virgil. Instead, he's staring at the ground he looks more panicked than anything. Normally, watching as everyone's eyes are on me is amazing, but this time, it's not right. I'm not sure if it's because of how upset Patton is or maybe it's because everyone's whispering, and I doubt they're whispers of sheer adoration.  

I sat up slowly as my head continued to pound and my body still shaking, the world has yet to stop spinning but the spinning has slowed, almost like a rollercoaster coming to a stop. Except the operator has lost control and so the slowed-down speed is stuck there and for some reason even more horrifying than the actual ride. Patton looks towards me and hugs me, saying something about how worried he was but words don't sound like words, they just sound like noise, it's almost like everyone is speaking in a different language that sounds vaguely similar to English but isn't English. 

The nurse walks over to me and says something and holds out her hand. I reluctantly take it, I can feel Patton watching me closely. The teacher with the name that has something to do with cock, says something about being excused. The nurse lady helps me stand up as we walk to her office. Once we arrive, she gestures to the bed and tells me to lay down, I listen. The words she's saying seems more like English now, but she is also talking pretty slow which could be part of it. "What did you have for breakfast this morning Roman?" She asked in a quiet and patient tone, she almost sounded like she was afraid of me passing out again. 

"I don't eat breakfast," I responded, only because I think not eating breakfast as a highschool student is normal. The nurse nodded and wrote something down on her clipboard. 

"Have you had anything to drink this morning? It's been pretty warm, have you been staying hydrated?" She asked, I don't remember getting a cup of water this morning and I don't bring a water bottle with me to school unless I have rehearsal afterward. In which case I don't fill it until directly before rehearsal. I shook my head no, she wrote down more things on her clipboard. 

"Have you been eating consistently within the past couple of days Roman?" The nurse asked me as she continues to write things down. 

"Yeah," I respond, I've had a consistent schedule of not eating for weeks now. She writes down more things in her clipboard. 

"What was the last thing you ate?" The nurse asks looking up from her clipboard, it takes me a minute to remember. 

"An apple," I responded, it was from about three weeks ago before I started claiming to have rehearsal during lunch so that Patton would stop forcing food down my throat. I felt guilt open up my stomach just thinking about it.  

"How long ago was that?" The nurse asked tapping her pen gently on the clipboard. 

"Last night," I lied. 

"Okay," the nurse handed me a chocolate chip granola bar and filled a paper cup with water, "eat and drink those please Roman, I'm gonna call your dad to have him pick you up," my eyes widened. 

"Please don't," I say, almost reflexively, "he doesn't like calls during work and will get upset. He barely works enough hours to pay the bills as it is, if he has to get away his pay will get docked." I added, trying to save her from becoming suspicious. In reality, Dad lost his job a couple of months after mom died, and Remy has been using their Starbucks money for bills and I've been serving at the McDonalds down the street although refusing to show my face at the register to pay for Groceries. Neither Remy nor myself knew where Dad got his beer money from although it could probably be enough for ten tickets to Hamilton if he saved it. 

"I'm sure he'll understand," The nurse said as she picked up the phone.

Fuck.

"Hi Mr. Prince, it is the nurse from Roman's school. There was an incident in which Roman fell unconscious, it was most likely just from dehydration but it's just a part of our protocol for anyone who goes unconscious for any reason to send them home. Please pick him up as soon as possible. Thank you so much, Sherry Apelo," The nurse hung up the phone. 

"Now, we'll just have to wait until he arrives." The nurse said. 

After about three hours of sitting in the office, Remy walked in. "Hey boo, I'm here to take Roman home, Dad's busy and it's my lunch hour, so let's go." I stood up and began to walk towards the door before the nurse stood. 

"I'm sorry, but it has to be Roman's current guardian," the nurse said to which Remy rolled their eyes. 

"Do you see him showing up?" Remy asked in a tone that said they were done with her bullshit. "Now, I'm taking Roman home and whether you like it or not. Have a nice life!" Remy said as they gestured for me to leave. I stood up and walked to the door. 

"Thank you so much for your services m' lady! I'll be sure to remember you the next time I'm looking for someone to nurse me back to health," I shouted with a wink as I walked out the door. I followed Remy into the parking lot. 

"You're welcome for making sure you didn't have to deal with Dad," Remy said as we got into their car. 

"Thanks, Rem," I said sheepishly. 

"Are you gonna tell me why exactly you passed out?" Remy asked, "Pat said it was right before a presentation thingy, you don't usually get that nervous." They added, "he said he was convinced you were dying. Also, make sure you text him and tell him you're still alive, he's been spamming me all day about it." I shrugged.

"I was probably just dehydrated," I answer, I think we both know that was a lie. But, Remy doesn't call me out for it, I'm not sure why. Maybe, they just figure I don't want to talk about the actual reason. Or maybe they just don't care. 

Remy pulled into the driveway, "make sure you don't wake up Dad, I'll see ya when I get home. M'kay?" They asked I nodded in response. "I prolly won't be home 'till late though so don't wait up." They added I think that's their way of trying to make sure I don't worry. "Peace out bro," they said as I stepped out of the car and into the house. I watched as they pulled out of the driveway. 

A/N: 

I'm not dead!  

I'm so incredibly sorry for this update being so late. Things have been super busy with school just starting, plus preparing for audition season, plus some family stuff that's been going on lately. But I am still alive and I am still working on this book. Some things to know for the future: 

I've decided that I will go back to biweekly updates, for the sake of my mental health and to ensure that what I'm writing isn't rushed and completely terrible. I feel like some chapters seem rushed and I don't want that to happen with the rest of this story. 

The next chapter will be later than two weeks most likely. The next chapter will be a bit different than other chapters and therefore will take more time. That is also part of the reason this chapter took so long is because I was getting some things set up and scheduled for the next chapter. There's a chance some things for the next chapter will be done earlier than expected but as of right now everything for the next chapter will take up to three weeks at the most if all goes as expected. It could be a little bit later or a little bit earlier but I don't know for sure. Thank y'all so much for being so flexible with this. 

Finally, I just want to thank you for all the love and support all of you have been giving. Every single one of the comments on this story have been nothing but loving and supportive and it so appreciated. I love all of you so much and thank you all so much for sticking with me and reading.