Scars~Prinxiety

Some Day My Prince Will Come ~Roman

Happy quarantine y'all!

TW: internalized homophobia, suicide

"Someday my prince will come, someday we'll meet again. And away to his castle, we'll go to be happy forever I know" 

I was stuck in the house of one of the people I hate the most. Which I believed to be quite humorous. I hated Virgil because I was gay for him but knew that I wouldn't be able to be with him. And now, I was stuck in his house because I was gay. 

Well, a gay optimist. 

Me being a gay optimist seemed to be the two biggest things to cause everything that had seemed to be going wrong. Hell, my optimism was the reason both me and Remy were without a place to live and stuck with the one guy that seemed to despise me. If it weren't for me being the idiot that I am, Remy wouldn't have gone through with it. We would have stayed in the closet, where it was safe. 

But I had to open my huge mouth. 

Per usual. 

Remy's idiot brother. 

The one who will spend three hours memorizing a monologue to use to profess my supposed undying love to a guy who didn't want to even be around me in the first place. But can't focus enough in class to understand basic math. 

When I walked into the room at the end of the hall, the first thing I noticed was a picture above an unmade bed. It showed an even smaller version of Virgil with chestnut brown hair grinning as he clung to a man with bright green eyes and graying brown hair, a similar shade as Virgil's, the man was smiling brightly. It was the only time I had seen Virgil happy. Or at least smiling. It was a strange sight, and yet it still managed to be the highlight of my day. 

I sat down on the bed, beside about twenty empty scattered wine bottles, an empty tub of ice cream that smelled terrible and a wrinkled piece of paper covered in messy handwriting and a small drip of something red that was too dark to come from the wine bottles. The paper read, "Dear Ally,

I'm sorry. 

We both knew that I wasn't strong enough for you. Or for anyone else for that matter. I love you, and I always will. I want you to know and to remember that. And don't you ever blame yourself for this. You were the only thing keeping me from this for a damn long time and you know it. I'm sorry I couldn't be as strong as you needed me to be. And make sure that even though I'm gone, you'll stay, for Virgil's sake. I'm sorry about all the stories I never got the chance to tell you and Virgil. About all the late nights I spent with Nate and the guys chasing after this sense of wonder and happiness that none of us ever found. Until, I met you, and then suddenly, that sense of happiness found me. But, unfortunately, the sadness caught up too quickly for me to push it back. 

I wish I could explain why I did this. It wasn't because I was so unhappy with my life that I couldn't deal with it any longer. I wasn't unhappy, I don't think. I just couldn't deal with the responsibility or the pressure anymore. I couldn't handle the weight of you and of Virgil and of Mom and of everyone else on my shoulders any longer. And, I'm sorry. 

Please, make sure to take care of Virgil, 

I love you both. 

John." 

I set the paper down. John was probably the man in the picture who was most likely Virgil's dad. It seemed like he had committed suicide, or maybe he just left.  

No, that's too much like my family. 

I pushed aside the wine bottles, unwilling to go to the kitchen and throw them out and sat down on the bed looking for a distraction. I pulled out my phone and opened Disney+, seeing as Remy and I didn't have the money for it, Remy uses one of their friends' passwords, and then I stole the password from Remy. Remy said that it was okay to profit off of their friend because one, their friend was a rich asshole who needed to be stopped, and two, Disney is run by rich assholes who need to be stopped. 

I decided to watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I knew that it wasn't the best Disney movie, but I still enjoyed it. It was like an old friend to me, filled with nostalgia and it was comforting. I had been watching since I was a kid and it was the only thing that seemed to be consistently there for me. Then again, Disney as a whole gave me that type of feeling, but there was something about this movie that made it special. 

I suppose the idea of living happily ever after was the appeal, as the perfect couple with perfect lives. I had always found myself longing to be Prince Charming. Strong, heroic, handsome, the perfect cliche. If I could be that, hopefully, the happy ending will come with it. 

I imagined myself as Prince Charming. As the hero, rescuing my love from danger. But, who was I kidding? How was supposed to help anyone else around me, if I couldn't help myself? 

I apologize my dear readers. 

I realize that you could not care less about my bullshit. The only character's pain you care about is Virgil's, right? He is the "fan-favorite" after all. And for good reason too. He's relatable and that perfect mix of adorable and hot. Everyone loves the guy who is edgy and dark but has a soft spot. That's what he is to you, right? 

You came here for a love story. A heartwarming story with something to give you a touch of hope. Like a Disney movie. Well, I will do my best, but I don't think that this is the story that you're looking for. I am truly sorry.