guardian angel

a year today

26 july 2018, a year ago today I found out about X (I was so sure I found out about him like a week after all that happened but no..)  I didn't know what happened, people were saying different, like he was still here, he faked his death for a video etc, my fake ass friend shared a meme saying he knew he was still alive so I fr thought he was :/ (I'm glad for that fake ass friend tho bc I found out about X through his hate) then I thought maybe he killed himself bc of how hurt he was so I was confused then hurt when I found out he was actually gone like first time listening to only a few songs and It broke my heart bc of how he felt and I also just really felt every word.. :( <\3 a year today I found out about him and started loving him and finding comfort in him.. even way before I watched his IG videos <3 his music was enough and it fr hits me everytime <3 when I first found out about him, I was looking up his new and old songs on Google it was a whole night of just reading his lyrics on my phone then listening to him on the TV and thinking damn that's deep asf and just feeling hurt bc of how hurt he was and I thought he was still alive and I was even thinking "id like to go to one of his shows" <\3 when I first started listening to him I started listening to sad, everybody dies in their nightmares and before I close my eyes over and over day and night, everybody dies in their nightmares means a lot to me, well all his deep songs do tbh <3

None of it feels like that long ago.. it still breaks my heart as much as it did before, it always will, I see him as a close friend, it fr feels like he was a friend so ofc it's gonna always hurt.. to know a beautiful person like him that this world needed is no longer here but now he's our guardian angel <3