guardian angel

Just thinking

So mum was talking about me and my brother having a water pistol this summer and how I will be 19 and my brother will be 16 but we still gonna play etc and I had a random thought X won't get to even play water fights with his son.. I Imgained him doing that kinda thing like running around playing water fights with Gekyume.. It hurt, he said he thought he would be a good dad, he would have been an amazing dad, he was so happy when he found out he was gonna be a dad, apparently he wrote a song about it

He found somebody actually nice, he no longer wanted to die, I know depression etc don't just go away but he even said he was feeling better bc of how he was training his mind to be positive etc..

It just hurts tbh but he's always here in spirit, he's their blue butterfly, he's our guardian angel, he's still here, we may not see him but we can feel his energy