sugar and honey - yoonmin littlespace 🍯 (incomplete)

2 // yoongi 🌻

i need to keep running. talking with that cute guy in the elevator and lobby was a waste of time, my whole focus should be on   mickey, my dog. no don't get distracted by the stuffed animal shop, we need to get to the vet quickly we need to hurry. because maybe if we go faster they can give him so medicine that they didn't have before, maybe they can save him-

yoongi stopped dead in his tracks, he didnt know why he was running. every step was bringing him closer to the passing of his precious pet. the pet who he had by his side every since the worst day of his life. the pet his brother had gave him.

it was the day yoongi turned 14, and he bounced home, waiting for the mini cupcake and small present from his older brother Jin, their own little celebration of each others birthdays or achievements. he had always liked to come home to the familiar rountine of his household. his mothers perfume, his fathers tie collection, his brothers kind smile. of course he had to bear his parents "having conversations" every night. but all parents yelled, and cried didn't they? all fathers came home at midnight smelling sour with an attitude that matched, and all mothers cursed and threw projectiles all around ... didn't they? apparently not.

the night of the news, his father did not smell sour, and was home by 3 pm. he was in the same state as he was in the morning for once. his mother was not smashing any kitchen gear or spitting curses. she was not breaking or hurting anything or anyone.the parents had called yoongi and his brother into the living room. yoongi ran down the stairs, trying his best to keep a straight face, but breaking out into the greatest gummy smile anyhow. he had thought that they remembered. they had forgotten ever since he had turned 7 but now they had finally remembered his birthday! he turned to grin once at his brother, but his smile faltered when the older just lightly shook his head. why wasn't he happy that they actually remembered-

"i'm so so sorry boys, but your father and i don't think we love each other anymore."

no. No. NO.

yoongi screamed as he cried into his brothers chest. after his mother broke the news, he had gotten up and ran back up the stairs, jin trailing quickly behind. this couldn't be happening, why was this happening? maybe if he had been quicker to study when he got home instead of grabbing a few study snacks, maybe if he had helped more, maybe if he had just tried to be a better child-

"Yoongi, look at me. please."

yoongi had just realized that his father nor mother hadn't even bothered to come to check on their children. why was his big brother more of a parental figure than his parents where?

"y-yeah?"

"none of this is your fault. they've been all shouting and screaming and drinking since i've been born. some people just dont work well together, and bring out the worst in each other. but, it's still your birthday, and- and I have a sort of weird present. now, please don't be mad but I knew mom and dad were going to split since last month, I heard them talking one night."

"what-what the fuck did you just say?I thought we told each other everything! what the hell!"

"it's okay, I understand that your mad, but I have what I think will be a great present."

"... what is it?"

jin laughed, yoongi cracked a small grin despite wanting to be mad. he just couldn't.

"you know how you've always wanted to live in seoul? and a cute dog?"

"are we moving to soeul! and getting a puppy?"

"su- sure dude. pack your bags, you gotta leave by 6 a.m. tomorrow. sharp."

"but I don't even know what to pack! show me what's in your suitcase, so I can copy you. Yoongi looked towards the older, who had tears running down his cheeks. "why are you crying, is it about mom and dad? but you already knew?"

"I lied- lied again yoongs, i'm sorry. I can't come with y-you."

"W-why not?"

jin sighed and tugged at his hair as he thought how to explain this to a fourteen year old. yoongi didnt deserve his parents. nobody deserves this.

"i'm still in uni here Yoongs. believe me, i tried to send all the essays and work to Seoul University but, they didn't- they didn't accept them. not a single essay accepted. and i would drop out here and live with you, but i want to get a good education, to get a good husband so if i have a family in the future, it wont end up looking like, well this. i got you the- i got you the nicest apartment i can afford which I know isnt much but it'lldo for now, and i managed to at least appeal to a tiny bit of the directors heart, because you've got a scholarship to Seoul Uni, when you graduate... yay"

"but ... i don't want to go! you been the only good thing about this stupid fucking house all these years! you helped me with homework, and girls, and guys and now you're gonna try and make me leave you alone living god knows where! you're my protector, i don't-"

the two boys were wrecks.

"i love you yoongi, and i'll call you every night, and visit atleast once a month. i swear on my life."

he held out a pinky.

yoongi intertwined his with jin's, then him in for a long, warm, and saddened embrace. why did things like this have to happen?

"oh! yoongi, i s-said there was a dog! there is."

the older reached under his bed, to pull out a small dog bed, a toy poodle calmly resting atop of it. he also pulled out food and water  bowls.

"this is mickey, sorry i named it without you  but it has meaning." yoongis brother pulled out a sheet of paper that read:

THE MEANING OF MICKEYS NAME

m- min
i- intelligent
c- caring
k- kind
e- excellent
y- yoongi

"Take care of him yoongi, and take care of yourself too, okay?"

"o-okay, ill try my best."

they can't save him. they aren't being selfish, he's in pain. that's why im running, I didn't take care of him well enough. thats why i'm running. and that's exactly why i can't afford to get distracted by a stuffed penguin, and if I should name him Skippah or Waddlez. i need to keep running.