This Ends Here (✓)

28.

“Hindi pwedeng laging ngayon lang ang pinag-uusapan, dapat pati ‘yung bukas.

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“The fuck, love, nice!” I hugged him. “I’m so proud of you!” I kissed his nose.

Dinagdagan niya ang serving ng salad sa plato ko. “Thanks.” Ipinatong niya ang isang kamay ko sa dibdib niya. “Feel that?”

I nodded. Ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib niya. Akin rin naman. Sobrang saya ko para sa kanya.

“I think my heart would explode, I am not even sure how to break this news to you.”

Hinawakan ko ang dalawang pisngi niya. “The fuck, love? I am so, so happy and proud of you. I told you, mabilis kang matatanggap. You don’t know how much I adore your sketches.” Tinitigan ko siya sa mga kulay tuyong dahon niyang mga mata. “I love you.”

I stole a quick kiss at his lips. I know I have to calm him down and assure him na walang pressure. He is already doing good.

“So, break out the details on me. Industrial designer ng mga kotse, right? Tapos dito lang rin sa Makati. E, yung sched mo?”

“Monday to Friday, almost the same like yours. Working hours din but mas hawak ko ang oras ko. Hindi kami oblige na pumasok palagi at walang log-in or out.”

Tumango-tango ako. “But stressful, ‘nu? Because it’s not that easy to make designs, of course. Big time kaya ang cars.”

He nodded. “Yes, commitment pa rin kahit hindi strict. Like discipline.”

Tumango ako. “Does it pay good?” I wiggled my brows and laughed.

Humalakhak rin siya at sinalinan ako ng wine. “Dude, it pays more than good.” He made a money-sign on air.

“Weh?!” Nanlaki ang mata ko. “Can you spoil that detail on me?” Biro ko. Alam ko namang hindi tatanggap ng basta-bastang trabaho si Theo, maarte kaya ‘to.

“Hmmm,” pagpapabitin niya.

Pinaningkitan ko lang siya ng mata habang nagpipigil ng ngiti. “Spill.” I pinched him.

He laughed. “90 to 200 a month, depende sa performance. Pwede pang lumaki if our design would hit.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. “Fuck, man, you got that.”

He chuckled. I have always believed in his capability. He could do more than the basic, I know. I watch him sketch things, I watch him sketch me. I know how brilliant his future would be if he just strives hard enough.

I know we could both grow better, we would soon be checking all our goals and dreams in life. We just have to stay in focus.

“You inspire me to do better and better each day,” Theo murmurs in my neck every time he would visit me in my condo, tired of long days and sleepless nights.

Naiintindihan niya na raw ako. And, I think it is a good news. We are really growing.

Day by day, naging busy na talaga kaming dalawa. We are both busy chasing our dreams, wanting to be better. We know we would need it for our future. We need to strengthen our present.

“I’m so sorry, I just got done,” hinihingal na sabi ni Theo, sabay halik sa noo ko.

I warmly smiled at him. “Dude, I understand. Tsaka ten minutes late ka lang.” I hugged him. “Aloha. Tara na?”

He nodded.

Mabilis ang byahe papuntang Taft. It’s good that the Philippines is also improving, nawawala na sa bokabularyo ang traffic.

We, along with our friends, decided to hang out. Nagpatayo kasi ng coffee shop si Elisa at ang fiancé niyang si Jacob. They were engaged last month and three years na rin naman silang nagdi-date.

While growing, I realized that there are people in our lives who would have significant roles but would soon leave. Clio was Elisa’s first love. ‘Nung nag hiwalay sila four years ago, she was so devastated. I witnessed the great capability of love to ruin someone.

For months, almost a year, Elisa could not function well until she met Jacob. Clio is also a friend, but of course it’s because of Elisa. And when they broke up, we lost contact with Clio. I think he’s doing well now, dito pa rin naman siya sa Manila. The thing is, Clio cheated after two years of relationship. And, Elisa questioned her worth but she was brave enough to choose herself at the end.

But then, I am happy for Elisa. Wherever she’s happy, I’d be there, too.

And of course, there’s Fe, the single in the group. A year ago, Mark broke up with him. Wala na raw ‘yung spark, ‘yung love. That was so sad. Hindi ko alam na possible pala talagang mawala ang pagmamahal sa’yo ng tao o mawalan ka ng pagtingin sa taong mundo noon para sa’yo.

That is the scary part of commitment: there is no assurance that your love for each other would last till death. Fe moved on fast, because she agreed with him later on. Wala na pala talaga raw ang feeling. Love lost its fire, ika niya. Nakakatakot. Ang hirap pala talagang sumugal. Ang hirap kasing simulan ng bagay na hindi ka sigurado sa dulo, lalo na kapag nasaksihan mong karamihan sa paligid mo ay natalo dito.

In a relationship, you could fell out of love then leave or cheat. Both are tragic, scary but unpredictable. In the end, nasa sa’yo kung susugal ka sa maliit na porsyento o wag na lang.

Itinaas namin ang mga wine glass namin at nag ngitian. Adulting taught us a lot, sobrang daming lessons to the point na nakakalunod na. But it is in you to be strategic and learn how to swim or flow with it. Hindi ko alam kung ano ‘yung dulo pero gusto kong piliin maging matapang para harapin ito.

Kaso may mga bagay na susubok talaga sayo… gaano nga ba ako katapang?

“So, kelan kayo magbabalak magpakasal?” Tanong ni Elisa. “Six years is no joke, huh.”

“Oo nga,” tugon ni Fe. She smiled at me. “Kayo ang pinakamatatag na couple na nakilala namin, as in through thick and thin. Bumagyo, umaraw, kayo pa rin.”

Nabigla ako sa biglaang mga tanong. Napatingin ako kay Theo na napangiti na lang at napahawak sa batok.

“Bakit hindi ka pa nagyaya, Theo?” Tanong ni Fe.

Napakagat labi si Theo, hinawakan ang isang kamay ko sa ilalim ng mesa. “Actually, hindi pa namin napag uusapan.”

“Pananong hindi?” Kunot noo ang lahat. “Grabe na kaya ang six years!”

I faked a laugh. “Ano ba kayo? Hindi kami nagmamadali.” I pressed Theo’s hand. “23 pa lang ako at 24 pa lang si Theo. We are still growing up and exploring life. Gusto naming maging maayos muna bago mag settle down.” I smiled at Theo.

“Pero sigurado naman kayo sa isa’t isa, diba?” Utal ni Elisa. “I mean, sa kasal naman kayo mauuwi, diba?”

Humilig ako sa balikat ni Theo. I nodded at them. “Oo naman.” Ayokong isiping sa break-up kami mauuwi, katulad ng kinahantungan ni Elisa at Clio, pati ni Fe at Mark. Iba kami ni Theo. Six years na, madaming pagsubok pero kami pa rin. Mananatili kami.

Theo kissed my forehead. “Of course, I love Kate so much.”

I know that has to be enough, kahit magulo. Aayusin muna namin ang present naming dalawa para matatag ang foundation ng future namin.

Kaya namin.