This Ends Here (✓)

24.

It's really disappointing, you achieve one of your dreams but the person you expect to give you applause wasn't there.

—

"Let's talk, ano ba naman 'yan," pagod kong wika. "Theo, pagod ako, e. I don't expect you to throw tantrums, and I already told Cris to not say he likes me again."

"I'm sorry, I messed up," tugon niya sa kabilang linya. "I was just furious, a pretty better guy likes my girlfriend."

Napahilamos ako. "Tangina naman, Theo," mahina kong sambit. "Pagod ako, to the point na naiiyak na ako."

"What? Wag ka namang umiyak, sorry na nga."

"Pumunta ka dito, iiyak na talaga ako."

"Opo, boss, walang iyakan."

"Tangina mo." Nagtago ako sa ilalim ng unan at umiyak. It was tiresome. Sumabog na siguro ako — pagod sa trabaho, tapos sa nangyari kanina, tapos 'yung mga sinabi ni Cris.

Anong hindi ko deserve ko si Theo? Takot nga 'tong umiyak ako, e.

Deserve ko siya. Mahal niya ako. Mahal ko rin siya.

I immediately opened the door of my apartment when he enters. Agad ko siyang niyakap. Ayoko 'yung pumapasok sa utak ko ang mga sinabi ni Cris kanina.

Hindi pwedeng pagdudahan ko ang boyfriend ko.

"Damn, umiyak ka pa rin?" Pinahid ni Theo ang mga luha sa mata ko.

"Bakit ka umalis agad kanina?" Nanginginig ang boses ko. At times when you're tired, it's easy to become vulnerable.

He hugged me tight. "Mukha kasing masasapak ko na 'yung gago mong katrabaho kaya umalis na agad ako. Sorry, hindi ako galit. Kaunti lang."

Tiningnan ko siyang masama. "Galit pa rin 'yun."

"Dude, I'm just a little mad and pissed off. But it's nonsense. You're too much focused at work. I missed you."

I hugged him tight, too. "Mr. Lee called me to his office kanina. Guess what?"

He kissed my forehead. "Hmm? You're promoted?"

I look at him, acting surprised. "Pa'nu mo alam?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's obvious, dude. Tapos I'll guess, 'yung party tonight na sinasabi ng gago ay about sa promotion mo."

"Fuck, ang talino mo," biro ko.

"Dapat sumama ka na lang," bulong niya sa leeg ko.

"Galit ka nga, e."

"But you know, hindi ako magagalit sa'yo ng matagal."

"Pero ayoko ng galit," I murmured. "And we'll have another party. Bukas ng gabi, and I want you to be there."

"Should I be there? Pwede pass?"

"Ako magagalit." Kumalas ako ng yakap.

Hinatak niya ako. "I was kidding, syempre, I'll be there. I'm fucking proud of you."

It was sad.

Because he broke that.

I waited for three hours. Habang ang lahat ay nagpa-party.

That was my party. My promotion was announced. I was supposed to be happy. I was supposed to enjoy that night.

But, I was disappointed. I delivered my small speech, pretending I was happy.

Well, I was happy. But that faded. Because I was disappointed, like I was turned down.

Like I was neglected.

Because the guy I love —

The guy I expected to give the loudest clap and cheer —

The guy who should be, number one, praising the outcome of my hardwork —

The guy who said he's fucking proud of me, wasn't there.

I waited for more hours.

Baka late.

Baka lowbatt kaya hindi maka-reply.

Baka na-stranded sa traffic.

I was always making excuses for him, to myself, everytime he disappoints me.

Kasi nga mahal ko.

Dapat may excuses.

Because he can't just intentionally hurt me.

I went to his condo.

Because I expect to wait and hear his excuse.

Bakit wala siya sa party? Bakit hindi siya dumating?

But for the nth time, I was again disappointed.

He was just there, inside his condo, smoking.