South Park Oneshots

(Eric Cartman) I've Been Waiting

A/n: I want to dedicate this to a couple people! This is to you, rainbowchick214 (for the wonderful AU idea) and SmilesGoForMiles (for requesting). It's technically not really a Vietnam AU but the boys are all soldiers and stuff in this oneshot. I hope that's alright? Also, it's not really too accurate so I hope that's alright too.

Next, I'll be typing a Kenny and a Stan oneshot, so watch out for those! :)

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"Man down! Man down!!"

"We have to bring him to safety."

"He's bleeding so much!"

"Don't worry, our nurse can help him."

"... UGH, he's so heavy!"

"Shut up and run."

...

Eric Cartman opened his eyes when he realized he was overwhelmed with pain. He let out an ear splitting growl that made a few other men in their respectful beds to look over at him. The husky soldier tried to sit up from his bed but more blistering pain shot through his body as he did so. "Ow! Fuck," he hissed as he plopped his head down back onto the pillow.

A nurse rushed into the medic tent with a frantic look in her (e/c) eyes. "What happened?" She asked in absolute panic.

"Cartman's up!" A raven haired boy groaned while closing his eyes once again to go to sleep. "Shut up, dude! You're in the medic tent."

"Hey, shut up, asshole!" Cartman shouted back at him. His brown eyes darted over to the nurse. "Why am I here?"

With a sigh, she walked over to him with a calm demeanor. "You're injured. Someone shot you both in the leg and in your shoulder. Plus, you're pretty battered and bruised in some places," she informed him, her honey sweet voice somewhat surprising the chestnut haired boy. "I advise you to rest. It's the middle of the night and many of the men here are trying to sleep."

"But the war!--"

"It's going to continue whether you're on duty or not. You're not going to be much use if you're in pain," the nurse told him.

"Nurse (F/n)! Can you help me?" a blonde called out to her with pleading, blue eyes.

The nurse excused herself and went over to the opposite side of the tent to the needed patient. "Yes, Kenny?"

"Will you... Like to go somewhere tomorrow?" The freckled boy smirked.

From the groan that left (F/n)'s lips, Cartman figured that this wasn't the first time she had been asked out by him. "It'll be kind of hard with both your legs broken, don't you think?" She told him with a soft smile. "You keep forgetting this fact."

"Doesn't mean I can't still try!" Kenny chuckled.

"Shut it, Kenny! I'm trying to sleep," the same black haired guy from before yelled. "Stop flirting with Nurse (F/n) an go to fucking sleep. She's never going to say yes to either of us."

"Aww, Craig. You don't know that for sure," (F/n) replied. "Ok, enough chit chat. Go back to sleep and I'll be back in the morning with breakfast." She strolled over to Cartman's bed. "No more yelling, ok?"

Much to the other men's surprise in the tent, Cartman just nodded and rested back. With that, (F/n) left the tent. "Ha, couldn't resist Nurse (F/n)'s orders, either?" Kenny called out towards the bigger boy. Cartman wasn't entirely sure why he didn't act out like he usually would but one look at (F/n) made him think twice about it. He'll admit, when he first saw her, he thought she was a legit angel and he had died and gone to heaven.