Amor

~Chapter 1~

"Get back here and clean this mess you stupid worthless child! Your father and brother will be back anytime now and I don't want them to see the damage you caused!"

I hear my mama's loud footsteps get closer to the closet that I'm currently hiding in. Hugging my legs to my chest while rocking back and forth, I keep one hand covering my mouth to try and soften the noise of my heavy breathing. I've learned that the quieter I am, the harder it is for her to find me. The sounds of mama walking around the house and yelling for me to come out, cause a new wave of tears to fall from my eyes.

"Sophia! Wait until I get my hands on you, little girl." There's a bang on the wall in the distance that can be heard and I'm guessing she's by the kitchen.

When I ran into here earlier, I made sure she didn't see where I was going but I can't be completely certain that it worked. After all, I'm just a kid and she knows this house like the back of her hand.

I hate it when mama yells at me. I don't want to make her upset, but that's all I ever seem to do when we're alone together. When papa and Jesse are here, mama treats me nice and doesn't yell at me. I like it when the whole family is home because that stops her from hurting me...

I guess I was too busy focusing on my thoughts that I didn't hear mama getting closer, coming up the steps quickly. She yells in frustration and hits something when suddenly it goes dead silent. I try to steady my breathing and listen to see if I can hear any movement outside. About thirty seconds pass before mama opens the closet door, making me scream and cry harder.

"Found you." She grabs my arm forcefully and yanks me out of my hiding place only to throw me at the wall next to us. I feel my head hit the hard surface and my vision goes blurry for a second. I slowly look up to see mama smiling down at me, but it doesn't look like a happy one. She laughs and bends down to get to my level.

"You know the rules cabrona. When your brother and father get home, you'll tell them you fell down the stairs and hit your head. Remember this next time you try to disobey me again."

Mama smirks at me, lifting her hand up and smacking me across the face just like the countless other times before.

Why doesn't she love me?

I awake with a start and sit up in bed when I realize there isn't enough oxygen getting into my lungs. Trying to control my breathing, I close my eyes and count to ten over and over just like my brother taught me. This is an everyday thing for me, panic attacks. And it has been for the past six years now. I always dream of the bad memories my mother gave me and wake up with tears running down my blotchy cheeks, hopefully calming down before I pass out. It's my own torturous routine.

It takes me a few more minutes to bring myself back and when it finally passes, I check the clock on my nightstand to see that I'm awake thirty minutes before my alarm will go off. Deciding that it's better for me to get dressed now than rush later on and get to school late, I pull the covers off me and head to the bathroom to do my business.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror has always been a difficult thing to do because then all my self doubts start pouring in, but I figure I should try it out today. Standing  in front of the sink, my gaze moves up only to find a broken shell of a girl with dry tears on her face, lifeless brown eyes, and tangled hair. What did I honestly expect? A miracle? I sigh and turn to get a shower ready seeing as I have some extra time and need to look somewhat presentable before going out in public.