Amor

~Chapter 27~

"Anything new since the last time we saw each other?"

I clear my throat, "um well the trial happened yesterday..." She nods understandably and jots some things down in her fancy notepad. "How did that go? Did you have a panic attack?"

"N-no I didn't. Almost, but I was able to relax in time. He um... he's spending f-forty years in prison so..."

I nervously play with my fingers on my lap and look down, my hair covering my face. Again I can hear her writing things down on paper and the barely audible noise of the clock ticking fills the silence. Ever since I started coming to therapy, I've been able to express myself more freely and it's helped me a lot. Today just feels different than usual and I don't know why. I think Mrs.Owens can tell also that I'm not as comfortable speaking about stuff unlike the previous sessions.

"Are you okay with talking about what the trial was like? Or would you want to discuss something else?"

I take a second to think about it, "we can t-talk about the trial."

She sits up straighter and waits for me to begin, gesturing with her hand that I should start. "Okay, well um when Charles f-finally answered the one thing that had been bothering me, I started crying. I could hear angry voices and p-people shouting. The judge sent Charles out of the room along with his lawyer and then I heard someone run up to me as I fell to the floor. M-my lungs were burning really bad. Donovan tried to calm me down and the judge sent everyone outside for a break, they told Donnie that they'd bring in a n-nurse, then she left too."

I paused to lean over and take a drink from the glass of water she gave me earlier. When I set it back down on the small table, Mrs.Owens asked me to continue.

"Jesse came over and together they managed to save me before I got an anxiety attack. The nurse who was c-called checked everything out and once it was all okay, we went outside for some air. We all sat there in s-silence on some benches just thinking. It was five m-minutes later when we w-were called in to continue the trial and we ended up leaving for home an hour after. Charles had gotten his sentence and we won, but something j-just didn't sit well with me."

"And what do you think it is?" She asks, causing me to shrug in response.

"Okay how about this? How did you feel after the trial was over and you went home?"

"I was relieved and t-tired but, also a bit angry" the end of the sentence sounded like a question which she nodded along to.

"Tell me what made you feel that slight ounce of anger, Sophia" her tone suggested that she already caught on to why I had those emotions and was waiting for me to figure it out too.

"Umm... i-i guess I was hoping that he would've gotten a b-bigger punishment for what he did" I'm quick to add on, "n-not that I wanted him to like die or anything b-but it just doesn't seem fair how he raped Crystal and me only to get forty years in prison. We won the t-trial but it doesn't feel that way."

Mrs.Owens closes her notepad and places it down on her lap along with the pen. "It's good you feel that way" she tells me.

"It is?"

"Yes, it's okay to be angry. You have the right to be angry Sophia. What he did to you was unforgivable and completely cruel, anybody could see that, but unfortunately the justice system isn't fair. It's very frustrating to see bad people get let off this easily when their victims are left suffering in the aftermath. They're stuck in a cell getting accommodations that we taxpayers are providing due to the law all the while nobody is helping the people who really need it. I understand your anger and i applaud you for knowing that how the trial ended didn't justify your loss. Unfortunately, my own rapist didn't get the sentence he deserved either, in fact, he got thirty years in jail."