Here you go.
I never got that last fan, so I'm going to cry. You guys are mean.
Eloise xx
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Dear kids, this is the story of how I met your mother.
Uncle Liam had a girlfriend at the time, who he'd go on to Marry later. Then they'd get divorced adn that wasn't fun for anyone. Esecially your mother.
Oh right! Oh so I Danielle was always giggling about her friend Valerie. Then Liam joined in.
They just loved your mother. Almost as much as I do.
Anyway I was showering at Niall and Liam's flat one day when I flicked the water off and heard them talking.
"She's getting close to these dangerous characters, I just don't like that."
"She can definately handle herself..."
"Yes, she can, but she's my best friend Liam what if they get her on drugs, or hurt her? I couldn't live with myself!"
"Shhhh so what do you want to do about it?"
"Can... can we set her up with one of your bandmates?"
"Uh... yeah I suppose..." I could practically see Liam scratching the back of his neck.
"So, there's Niall, Harry, Louis and Zayn."
"Louis has Eleanor."
"Still? Oh! I didn't say that!"
I chuckled. Nobody liked Eleanor.
"Yeah... well... let's leave them alone."
"Right. Right. Ok, so Harry, Niall, Zayn."
"Harry?"
Liam started cracking up.
"What?"
"Harry's shagged half the women in London!"
"Oh. So not Harry."
Ouch.
"Niall?"
"That's an Idea."
"Or Zayn?"
"Zayn likes this girl named.. uh... let me think."
"Ok dear... so Niall it is?"
"I heard you guys talking about me." I felt that was a good time to walk in. Embarass them.
"Uh, yeah.. sorry." Liam said. he picked up on the fact that I wasn't seething.
"Danielle you have a cute friend who's interested in dangerous men?"
She sighed, looking at her lap and back up at me.
"Yeah, and I just want her to be happy.. but safe!"
I can use protection... no! Focus!
"What is she like?"
"She's shy, but has attitude."
"That doesn't make sense."
"She's funny but serious, she's adventerous yet grounded, she's smart yet stupid, she's stubborn yet kind, She's sophisticated yet Naive, she's innocent yet has been through so much."
"That's not a person."
"Yeah, It's Valerie Thompson."
"That's not a real person, that's a perfect person."
