Fifty Shades of Jeon|| Lizkook ff||

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Jungkook had driven me home.
We both said nothing.
The air was thick.
The atmosphere cold.
I was shaking.
I felt dirty, empty, broken, paralyzed, useless, helpless. I felt like a whore.
Cause that's what I was.
Lalisa Manoban, a dirty whore.

I wanted to cry, but I couldnt. I wanted to scream right in that situation, in that car, but I couldnt.
He had broken me completely.

When we arrived at my apartment, I immedialty ran inside. I didn't let him follow me. I wanted him to leave. Not only today.
I wanted him to leave my life.

After I had entered the flat, I made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. I stripped the clothes off faster than the light, turned on the water and tried to wash the feeling off.

I tried to was off his touch, his breath, his lips, his movements. I tried to wash it off my skin.

But no matter how hard and fast I brushed, the feeling didn't want to go away.
I used more soap, different sponges, nothing helped. I stayed dirty.

I brushed to the point of my skin becoming so red, that I was scared it would start to bleed.

After about an hour, I broke down in the shower. I hugged my legs, holding my knees close to my chest while i burying my face into them.
I wouldn't get these feelings off.
I gave up...

-

I quit my job. I didn't go out. I didn't talk to anyone.
I isolated myself completely.

But trust me, this wasn't my first decision. I really tried to keep going as before.
Even though I did not go back to work, I tried to meet friends and to change my thoughts.

But every time I saw a car, I got flashbacks. And seriously, how am i supposed to avoid cars in this world?
Every time I saw a couple, my heart broke into pieces.
Every time I got close to a man, I started to panic.

I was completely done.

Jungkook hadn't texted or called me during the first days.
But as he noticed that I wasn't going to contact him either, he left a few messages and calls. But everything got ignored.
It got to the point where I blocked and deleted his number and his contact everywhere.

I didn't want him in my life anymore.

I literally did nothing but lay on my couch and watch movies, feeling safe in my own home.
I didn't see any need in doing anything.
My thoughts made me drown and pulled me down the more I let them do what they wanted to do.

I was falling deeper and deeper into depression.

One day, I heard my bell ring.
Tiredly, I forced my body up and went over to the door.
After i opened the door, I had to grin a little.

My best friend Hoseok stood there with a huge teddy bear, flowers and chocolate.

I slightly rolled my eyes and opened the door for him to come in.
"You didn't have to come over" were my words i greeted him with.

"I know. But I couldn't leave you alone like that"
He immedialty walked to the living room and I sighed, following him.
But deep inside, I was happy to see him.

He put his presents down and walked over to my window, moving away the blinds before then opening the window.
I flinched a little at the sudden light and fresh air.

"My Lalisa turned into a vampire?" we chuckled and sat down on my couch.
Usually I would have started to panic but Hobi was my best friend, I knew he would never hurt me and except that, he was gay so I did not have to fear anything.

We sat there, me in his embrace as we both drank hot chocolate and talked about what had happened. I knew i wasn't allowed to talk about Jungkook and me to anyone but I needed to. And I was crying.
Yet, my sunshine cheered me up and tried to make me feel better.
It didn't really helped so he sat me up.

"How about we go for a walk?" he asked with his shining smile and moved a strand of my hair behind my ear.
I didn't want to but I think I should listen to him.
I just nodded.
"Great. So my fairy will take a shower now and get dressed, okay?"
I smiled at the nickname and nodded, getting up and doing everything he had told me.

We left the building, the sun hitting my skin for the first time in weeks. It felt good, warm, kinda relieving.

Never the less, I clung onto his arm every time we walked pass a car. And that was pretty often. So you can say I was holding his arm the whole time.
As Hoseok didnt want me to get a panic attack, we walked to a calm park.

Much green, many colours, fresh smells, calming sounds.
For the first time in a while, I felt relax. Thanks to Hoseok, I felt safe again.
The surroundings made me forget what had happened for some time and I was so glad to regain a little power.

We sat down on a bench, holding our ice creams he had bought for us and laughed together.
He always has been so funny and I loved him for that.

Until a figure, dressed in black, sat down next to me.
It was probably a man broad shoulders and hair that reached hus eyebrows.
I didn't care much about it and tried to ignore him.
Until he said something

"The weather is beautiful, isn't it?"

I froze. This voice. I knew it. I had heard it before.
"Oh yes, the sun is amazing" smiled Hoseok but I stayed quiet.

"Oh yes. Right?... Lalisa?"

He held the gun to my head and his finger in front of my lips. "Suck" were his words he whispered in my ear.

A shiver ran down my spine and I started to shake.
"I-I... I have to g-go"
I quickly stood up and tried to run away.
I heard Hoseok calling for me but I ignored it.
I thought I could simply leave.
But my thoughts were false.

A tight grip on my hair held me back from leaving.
I gasped but a hand on my lips made me shut up while the hand that held my hair now got wrapped around my waist.
I tried to squirm around, to remove his hands but I was too weak.

I felt him lean closer to my ear "Now you finally be mine" he whispered and I sobbed, starting to cry.

Steps got closer to us, quick steps, until I felt something pulling the man away. He let go. I gasped for air before turning around.
I saw Hoseok who had pulled the man away.
But the man started to beat Hoseok.
He kicked him down, slapped him, made his nose and lip bleed and I stood there, crying and unable to move.

"Run!" Hoseok weakly screamed and I realised what was happening.
I just nodded and started to run.
I know I shouldn't have. I should have stayed and helped Hoseok. I should have called the police or the ambulance.
But I didn't. I ran. I just ran.

Until...

"Come to daddy, babygirl!"