Fifty Shades of Jeon|| Lizkook ff||

Therapy

Jungkook's P.O.V.

Lisa kept her promise and called a therapist the next morning. I don't know what she said but she managed to give me an early appointment. Usually, they take forever but my angel knows how to talk to people.

I was getting ready to meet the person who was about to look beyond my feelings and thoughts, the person who was gonna analyse me, the person who was about to see my secrets, the ones I even don't know about.
I hoped that it wouldn't be a woman. What if the voices would come back?
"Are you ready?"
I looked up "Hm?" so my eyes would meet with Lisa's and I saw her beautiful smile. It calmed me down a little bit. I knew it was going to be okay. They will help me.
I took a deep breath and nodded, taking my girlfriend's hand before we left with my car.
--
"Hello, welcome, my name is Miss Park."
A beautiful young lady came up to us. She had long blond hair, green eyes, cherry lips, a tiny waist, beautiful breasts and- oh fuck. She was waiting for me to shake her hand. I quickly grabbed it and shook it. She had a sparkle in her eyes and I needed to smile.
"So, Mrs. Jeon. Do you want your girlfriend to come with us for the first time?"
I looked at Lisa.
"I think it would be the best." she said but Miss Park interrupted her. "Mrs Jeon will decide what's best for him, it's his therapy.", she smiled and Lisa nodded.
"I...i would like to go alone." I mumbled.
Lisa clearly didn't like that but I couldn't let her know what happened.

The room Miss Park brought me to was...calming. There were warm colours, many plants, some books, her desk- oh I could fuck her on that- i mean.... I need to sit down.
So I did, right across from Miss Park.

"So, am I allowed to call you Jungkook?"
"So, am I allowed to call you Jungkook?"
I nod "Yes, miss Kim." It is Miss Kims first day here and usually teachers have to call us by our lastname but right now, she and me are alone.
"E-excuse, what?"

"I see that this question is making something come up. Is this true?"
I stayed quiet.
Miss Park took a breath.
"Okay so, Mrs Jeon, why do you think you need a therapy?"
"I..." Fuck what should I say now? I couldn't just tell her that I'm a fucking sadist, coping with my mental health by fucking around and cheated on my girlfriend multiple times.
But my mother and Jisoo made me slip back into my old behavior. The behavior I hurt Lisa with, the behavior I raped her with...
"I just need it." I looked away.

"Mrs. Jeon." she placed her hands on mine. "I know it is not easy to talk about things we were trying to forget for a long time. I know it is scary to rip up old wounds, I know it hurts. I see the pain in my clients eyes every day. But after some time, I see the relief and the development. It will be very hard.
But you should know that this is a safe place. No one will judge and no one isn't to get judged. Here, in these walls, you are allowed to be yourself, you are allowed to feel free and to talk about everything. You are also allowed to scream, to cry and to be silent.
But I need you to talk to me." she smiled.
She smiled so beautifully that I felt some warmth in my chest.

She said I was allowed to be myself here, right?
I placed my hand on her thigh. "Is a therapist allowed to wear such short skirts?"
I could see her shocked face but it didn't bother me, I started to stroke her inner thigh.
She cleared her throat and crossed her legs, making my hand move away.
But it was clear, so visible, that I made her nervous.
Maybe, I could use this therapy lessons for my needs. Lisa would never know. She would think that im working on myself.
But therefore, I need the therapist on my side.

"I am a sadist."
"A what?" Miss Park looked at me, I could feel it, while I looked at the floor.
"I like hurting people sexually, I like using them, I don't need nor want an emotional connection to them. I just want their body. When im angry or stressed, I fuck someone. I don't make love and sleep with them, I fuck them, I fuck them so fucking hard." The words leaving my mouth aroused me and I also could feel that it did affect Miss Park. I tried not to smirk.
"That's my way to cope with my emotions, my feelings and my thoughts."
I took a break, ordering my thoughts.
"And I've hurt people with this. I've hurt them without them knowing and with them knowing."
"How?" she asked.
"Once... I r-raped my girlfriend a-and...for some time now... I c-cheat on her.

I peeked at Miss Park. She was writing something. I expected her to say that I'm a bad person, how did I dare to do that. But no, she just nodded.
"And...why do you think these things, like fucking, help you?"
She just asked a question. No one wanted to know these things before.
"When I was younger, in school, a teacher once used me for her games."
I kind of felt embarrassed.
But Miss Park just nodded again.
She...she was such a great woman! She accepted me!
"And these games were...the same games you've played with women?"
I nodded.
She nodded.

While she kept writing, I watched her. I watched how her soft looking fingers held the pen, how her tight blouse wrapped up around hee curves perfectly and how her hair rested on her breasts.
I stood up.

"Mrs Jeon, our hour isn't over yet- I-"
I grabbed her by her arm, pulling her up.
Her paper and book fell to the floor and her back got slammed against a wall.
"Mr Jeon! I need you-" "I know you do" I smirked.
I pressed my lips on hers and kissed her. She didn't kiss back, instead of, she tried to push me away.
But I moved my hand underneath her skirt and touched her clit immedialty
I smirked "Hm, already wet?"
"I-" she was quiet, she probably felt ashamed, embarrassed, caught.
"I could lose my job if some finds out." she mumbled.
"No one ever will find out." I whispered in her ear before I bit it. A quiet gasp left her mouth.

The rest of the hour, we've spent

fucking on her desk.