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it's the second night we've been at the prison, so far i don't know how to feel about it. it's creepy, but as long as i'm with the fam i'll be fine.
i snuck out of the cellblock and decided to go outside for some fresh air. i was inside this little red gated section. as soon as you exit the cellblock to go outside it's gated all around you, and to your left you have to go down some stairs and unlock the door to really get out there. but rick advised us to stay inside this little area if we wanted air because there were two prisoners who had their own cellblock and could potentially get outside.
speaking of those prisoners, there was originally five but the three didn't listen, which resulted them into getting killed, now there's just two left. a lot happened today, not just about the prisoners. but hershel got bit and rick had to amputate his upper ankle with an axe. i woke up to beth screaming about it, it was one of the scariest jump scares to me, especially in a word like this.
the wind blew a cold breeze every few minutes, it felt good, fresh. it's what i love the most about cold air. "couldn't sleep?"
i sigh in annoyance as i drop my arms to my sides, slowly doing a one-eighty. it was rick. his hand was resting on his holstered gun which i learned was a natural habit he had, always ready for something to happen.
"nope." i retort, "what do you want?"
he sighs in exasperation at my response, "nikki we need to talk."
i roll my eyes with a sarcastic laugh, "fuck you."
"nikki. please."
i just shrug, taking my eyes away from his, trying to avoid eye contact, in nervousness, i slide my wedding ring up and down my finger. "alright then, talk."
rick deeply exhales, "well first off, we've been friends for years, nik. we got even closer after the world went to shit and—my point is, i'm sorry i killed shane, really, i am. but he gave me no choice but to defend myself. he gave me a look that i saw in his eyes after you tried to talked to him and—he was gonna shoot. i had to—"
i roll my eyes, cutting rick off his sentence instantly, aggravation filling my veins, "rick it isn't that! you saw how i was talking with you after shane died, yeah sure i was gonna be grieving and—i saw the look in his eye too! but it's what you decided to say at the ruins, the night after we lost the farm. you had the fucking audacity to call shane a—a monster and a killer right in front of lola! i remember her plugging her ears and crying after you said that. it took me hours to calm her down."
i paused to take a breath, seeing the solemn glowing in rick's eyes. "i know you were mad at the time, but you didn't have to say those words. shane was her father, who loved her, protected her. he wanted nothing more in the world than for her to be safe. sure—yeah, this shitty world made him spaz out and go psycho. but don't talk shit about him in front of her again or i'll rip your fuckin' head off, got it?"
silence quickly fell between me and rick as we just stared at each other, waiting for one of us to speak up. i had nothing more to say to him, pretty much. nothing else.
finally, rick spoke up, "i'll apologize to lola tomorrow. i apologize, nikki. this entire time i just thought it was because of shane."
i shake my head, "nope. it's because you were a real asshole at the time, kinda still are. but it's fine, and thank you for offering to apologize to her. she'll appreciate it." i reply to rick, and as i scooted past him to go back to the cellblock i feel my shoulder softly brush against his, and i could've felt something churn in my stomach. but i quickly brush it off, it had to have been nothing.
