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three weeks since atlanta, and let me just say, it's been fucking hard. no ones been okay since tyreese, or beth. their deaths have taken tolls on us all. we haven't been the same since. not only that, but we're low on everything, ammo, food, water, we're all trying to save it for judith, and the kids. if anything happens to us, whether we starve, get demolished by walkers, they have to be the ones to live, live on without us.
we all were scattered about, walking down the blacktop road. the hot sun was beating down on us, and none of us have cleaned ourselves in days, let alone found a pond or lake. we were sweating profusely, and didn't smell good at all. my hair was oily, and i didn't dare raise my arms.
my bruised eye has yet to go away either, it was yellow, purple, and i had stitches sewn under my eye as well. it didn't really matter, but we all, well most of us, had gotten new clothes considering our old ones were disgusting. the last time we had properly showered was since the prison, i still miss it.
sudden chills snapped me out of my trance, i also noticed that i was becoming more weaker and pale than usual, what the hell is wrong with me? i peel back the ripped t-shirt from my upper arm, dried blood stained the wound, i hope that it's not too deep to need stitches, we have nothing right now.
the cut happened just this early morning, we were raiding a small random building in the middle of nowhere when i got tackled by a walker, and i managed to cut my arm on a piece of glass whilst fighting it off. daryl got to me just in time, there was a lot of blood, but i was able to stop it with ripping a part of fabric from my tank top off, and tying it.
"need me to check that?" i hear maggie ask me, her tone was easy to tell she was weakened, like everyone else. i look to my right, she was walking right next to me, concern glimmering in her eyes. i shake my head, "not yet, when we stop for a rest next time."
we all continued walking down the road, everyone was quiet, no one was in the mood to talk. on strength for the group, we were okay, but mentally, no, it's like we're gonna go crazy. hell, that's what i wanna do. i've just felt at my lowest recently. considering there's nothing to ever do, i think about the others we've lost, especially karleen, lori, and shane.
i miss their smiles, their laughs, both of them lit up my life like the fourth of july. shane stopped at nothing to keep us safe, he protected us, loved us, and i could never forget about him. karleen, she gave me advice when i needed it, she kept me going when i felt i weren't a good mother to lola. lori, she was my best friend. even with what she did, i still loved her, i was still her best friend, and she was mine. i wish they were here.
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we all stood around the random bottles and jugs of water, daryl just got back, and rick showed him the sign. all of our guns were out, observing our surroundings from anything out of the ordinary. none of us wanted to drink it, let alone go near it, it could be a trap. well what am i saying? we're all paranoid and scared out of our minds, after terminus, and gareth coming back for us after we thought it was done, takes a toll on you—defines you. "what else are we gonna do?" tara questions rick, interrupting the silence.
standing in between carol and lola, all of us looked to rick, to see what he wanted to do. "not this, we don't know who left it." and he was right. sure, it was tempting, but we have to be cautious and alert in whatever situation whatsoever.
"if it's a trap—we already happen to be in it, but i for one would like to think it is indeed from a friend."
"what if it isn't? what if they put something in it?" carol proposed, and i nodded in agreement, we can't trust no one but each other these days, that's how it is and always will be for me. carol and rick's words didn't register in eugene's head, he picked up the bottle, and unscrewed the cap.
as fast as he put the bottle in his mouth, abraham smacked it away, letting in drop onto the pavement. none of us said nothing, considering what had just happened was so fast. but hey, he deserved it, it could be a trap.
unexpected thunder rumbled from the sky, and soon grey clouds swarmed the beautiful, vibrant blue color. rain came down faster than i thought it would, and for some reason, i felt joy. feeling the soft raindrops that continued to come down swiftly and firmer, it felt good.
most of us were cheering, smiling, and some, were unaffected by it. i understood them, but it's water, water we haven't felt on our skin for weeks, this was a good thing to me. i glanced at rick, and we instantly made eye contact. he gave me a small smile, and i couldn't help but return it.
i turned to lola next, seeing her jumping in dancing in her soaked clothes, spinning her arms around in a theatrical way. seeing lola this happy since everything, made me feel the best i've ever felt since shit hit the fan. even though all of us were soaked in rain water, we still smiled, we still managed to find joy in the little things.
