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it's been two days since i've spoken for rick, he was busy patrolling the streets and i was busy with other residents so we haven't gotten a chance to speak, not like i care though, if he wants to act like an asshole then so be it.
i walked my client patricia to the wooden front door with judith in my arms, opening it wide enough for her to exit. before she steps out she turns to me and smiles, "thank you so much hun for listening—i really appreciate it."
i return her a smile, "it's all good, i'm always here to listen when you need it." she nodded before leaving, and i shut the door behind her.
when i entered the kitchen where the kids were they were already in the midst of arguing about something dumb, again. lola was trying to read a book while carl was talking about bananas, but on purpose to annoy her, "did you know that bananas are very healthy? they're very good for your body and can also be a weapon-"
"did you know shutting up actually helps people focus? you should try it sometime you infuriating numbskull!" lola snaps back, angry clear in her chocolate brown eyes. i roll my eyes at the fact they were arguing, again.
"okay! that's enough—carl, let lola focus." i scold to them both, setting judith down on the wood floor near her toys. carl clicks his tongue, "fine. but one more thing—did you know that kiwi—"
"did you know i'm gonna kill you!" lol screams in infuriating anger, slamming her book on the counter and jumping out of her chair. carl took that signal to run, and bolted out the front door with lola chasing after him, leaving the front door wide open.
i just chuckled as i made my way to close the door, and as i grabbed the doorknob i noticed i saw rick walking up the porch steps with his hands in his jacket pockets, an anxious look clear on his face.
my happy mood went downhill quickly, and i rolled my eyes, slamming the door shut. just as i entered the kitchen i hear the door open and close a couple seconds later, which told me rick came in, great.
just so i could do something and ignore him, i start cleaning the metal sink with a sponge, that's when i heard him enter, "nikki can we talk?"
i didn't say a word, and started humming as i continued to clean. "dammit nikki, me and her were just talking it isn't that deep-"
me slamming the sponge down in the sink quickly cut him off, i grip the edge of the counter and look up at him, "y'know what rick? it actually is that deep, at least for me. you don't know how paranoid i get that you're gonna go and cheat on me just like shane did, turn on me and do what he did. me and him were happy, had a child, and he still went with another woman, whom may i add was my best friend, and you're wife! so excuse me for worrying about your stupid ass!"
rick went silent, speechless—unsure what to say. i just snicker, wiping my wet hands on my jeans to dry them. i make my way around the counter and into the dining room, "just go, rick. go be an officer."
he didn't say anything else, and exits the house quickly. i roll my eyes in surprise—wow, didn't even care, maybe he do has an issue with me now.
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the sounds of glass breaking, screaming, and yelling is what drew my attention away from the house. without thinking, i sprint outside to see what was going on, moving my head around frantically to see where it all came from. then i saw it, at the intersection down the street i saw two men fighting and others crowded around them, shit. i start sprinting down the street immediately, what the hell is going on now?
as i got closer i recognized the jacket, rick. of course, not even an hour later after our fight he's doing some shit like this.
as soon as i got there rick whipped out a gun, pointing it towards deanna's direction. he was kneeled down beside who i think was jessie's unconscious husband.
my heart drops, this could end badly if he doesn't put it down. my heart thumped anxiously as i glanced around, seeing carl and lola standing side by side, looks of fear and shock at the fact of what rick was doing.
"put the gun down, rick." dianna stated calmly, waving her hands down toward the ground. "rick!" i shouted, which had him glance at me from the sound of my voice, "what the hell are you doing?!"
he looked around at the others standing around, continuing to wave his gun—specifically the gun we chose to hide, fuck.
"you still don't get it, none of you do. we're the ones who do what we need to do, we're the ones who live!" he shouts, referring to our outside group.
"you—you think i'm just gonna let your ways go on that could get my family killed? my son, my daughters—and my girl? one of the the ones that i love more than anything in this goddamn world?!"
my heart ached with hurt, that was the last thing that i considered would come out of his mouth, daughters, my girl. he still loves me, he doesn't want to let me go.
"and you!" he looks at deanna, "you just sit, and plan, and hesitate! you pretend like you know when you don't! you wish things were what they are. well, you wanna live? you want this place to stay standing? your way of doing thangs' is done. t-things don't get better because you want them to."
"—starting right now, we have to live in the real world, we have to control, who lives here!"
"that's never been more clear to me than it is right now." deanna replies back in a stern manner, rick had messed up bad, he can't turn back as of now.
"m—me? you-you mean me?" he chuckles, "your way is gonna destroy this place, it's gonna get people killed—it's already gotten people killed. and i'm not just gonna stand by, and let it happen. if you don't fight, you die, i'm not gonna stand by—."
rick's speech was quickly cut off by michonne knocking him to the ground—which in fact, saved him, saved him from getting into more trouble. i didn't jump when michonne did it, i was in too much shock to register it.
tears brimmed my eyes, and chills ran down my spine, he was acting more like shane than ever.
shane's aggressive speech from the barn quickly came back to me, "i'm talking about fight—right here, right now! if you don't fight, you die!" then it came to me, shane got it faster than the rest of us back at the farm, he knew the way the world was gonna be before any of us, and that got him killed.
