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paranoid. that's all the group felt after last night. lola was traumatized—thinking that we weren't gonna get back in time to take down the cannibals.
it took me hours to get her to sleep last night, and she's still sleeping now. man, i couldn't imagine being in her shoes, scared out of your mind that cannibals were about to kill you and your family. lola's a strong girl, she is, but i think last night scared her the most, she thought she was gonna die, loose a body part and have it eaten right in front of her. she deserves a break from all this madness, hell, we all do. especially sasha.
we had to put bob down last night, i can't imagine what she's feeling, but i'm gonna respect her privacy and let her grieve, because i went through the same thing with shane, after the farm, the group let me deal with loosing him, and didn't push me to talk.
watching glenn and maggie leave us too on that bus was hard too. we need them, but that ginger just oh so desperately needed them on his team. he was annoying to me, and i'm kinda glad he's gone in ways. he just pushed rick with the whole d.c thing—thank god i'm not traveling with him though.
but because that's out the way, and all main problems pushed away, it's time to get our teammates back—once and for all.
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no more games now, no more of acting we were safe again, we can't let another gareth situation happen like that again. we need to learn to watch our backs for any situation. we can't let our guard down again, and because of that, we lost one of ours.
me, carl, rick, and that new kid noah were on the side of the church, fortifying the windows with wood. as i held down the boards for rick, i noticed he constantly eyed the guy, hell, i didn't blame him, but noah seems good, trustworthy. he gave us information on beth without a problem.
"he wants to go to atlanta—i can't have that." rick explains to me out of feeling, he knew me too well, he knew that i was concerned about him and the whole noah situation.
"then you stay, i'll go." i tell him, and he shakes his head instantly. "what, the mother of my baby? no, i need you here with the kids. plus—i owe it to carol, i owe her more than anyone."
it was still nerve-racking hearing rick say that it's judith's mother, but i was getting used to it. when we were done fortifying the place, the group moved inside to help the others going to atlanta pack. it was only a day or two's worth trip, so not much supplies were needed for them. but because it was much needed, they had to take most of our firepower.
to start saying goodbye, we all moved toward the front of the church, it was gonna be hard being away from rick, but he trusts me with the kids, so no matter what, i'll keep that promise.
i gave daryl a quick platonic kiss on his forehead before he headed down the steps, he only just got back and he was leaving again, but i'm just glad he made it out alive from atlanta.
reluctantly, rick handed judith carefully over to lola, he was gonna miss her deeply, i could tell. rick turned to me, and i saw his eyes glimmer with sadness. i chuckle sarcastically at rick showing emotion to me, "oh what? gonna miss me?" i laugh. "oh shut up." he replies with a sarcastic roll of his eyes, bringing me into a long kiss.
the sensation that i've always felt kissing him, was still there. and yes my heart felt heavy, i was gonna miss him more than anything.
when he pulled away he moved to carl, bringing him into a hug. then, he went to lola, and i swear seeing him hug her made my heart more happier than anything.
but it was just like that, they were gone, and we were forced to board ourselves in. i wanted nothing more than to be with them, but i'm needed here, i can't just give michonne and gabriel two teens and a toddler then leave. i wouldn't be able to bear it, being away from them anyways. i'm just glad we've made it so far.
