Divorced // bang yongguk (#26)

이십 이

Yongguk

I looked at the photos on my desk, the frame that is filled with all of my children smiling brightly towards the camera, they were really young at the time. SeNa and SeJeong were still children and they were carrying Sehyun who is only a baby at the time, he was barely one and his smile brightened up the entire picture. It has only been a few years since the picture is taken but it feels like a very long time. How can they grow up so quickly?

It felt like it was yesterday where my eldest child Sena was born and she was so tiny in my arms but it has been almost 17 years ago and she had already grown up into a graceful lady, a far cry from the rowdy little girl that I took care of until her toddler years.
She is now a completely different person from when she is a child, and it makes me tear up every time I imagined her getting married to the one she will love for the rest of her life, I can't allow that to happen but at the same time it is unavoidable, it is not like I can't force her not to get married to anyone even if she wants to.

She has a mind of her own and she is my daughter, I have a stubborn personality and she has half of my genes, she would definitely not listen to me half the time. She is already doing that now, she would defy my actions every now and then like how she tried to lie to me that she has extra supplementary lessons after school when in actual fact she skipped school just to have fun.

Her subject teacher called me earlier  this afternoon to inform that Sena has not been attending her lessons for the past month and she has been giving all kinds of excuses to escape class without letting her teacher find out about it, it was kind of disappointing that she would lie to her teacher and skip her classes without any permission, it is also kind of disappointing that she lied to me as well, I am her father and she decided that it is best to not let me know about it so that she could go play outside and not care about her studies anymore.

She is still young and she is already trying to defy me, going against me and thinking that she can break my system so easily. She can't do that, she isn't capable of doing that to her own father, I am the master of defying people in my olden days as well. I was not a good student and I often went against my parents as well, my father is a producer who created his own company when I am in my teens and he focused so much on his company that he kind of neglected my mother, my sister and I for a couple of years when he is still setting up his company.

My mother was the homemaker of the family and she focused on taking care of the household and my younger sister who is 6 years younger than me, she isn't as independent as I am when I was her age and she needed a lot of taking care of, my mother would then put all of her attention on my younger sister and thus, I was lacking love from both parents when I reached 18 years old and I was doing really badly in high school, I barely could pass my examinations and then I gave up on studying completely and loitered outside all the time and not give a damn about my own family.

I remembered myself being the worst version of myself when I decided to join gangs and be the gangster that my father hated, although I didn't join in fights and do all the bad things that gangsters do to prove that they are fearless, I still did all the piercings and tattoos that is required to be a gangster. And during that time, I met the kids' mother, she was part of the female gang and she was the prettiest girl there.

I remember being attracted to her the moment that I laid eyes on her and she also had her fair share of ear piercings and tattoos but she is an angel beneath all of this facade that she created to protect herself and I unknowingly fell in love with her, wanting to spend the rest of my life with her, she liked me as well even though I might be a little stubborn at times but she liked me anyway.

And then she accidentally got pregnant after we have dated for a few months but we were still young at that time, we haven't even graduated from high school and we already had a child together. It took me quite a while to decide that I would give up on being a gangster and go back to my family, even if I were to beg for it. And so I did, I went back to my family and begged for them to help me with my girlfriend and my unborn daughter financially.

They didn't want to help us at first but they eventually did after seeing how pathetic we are, and I was accepted back into my family with the condition that I would change for the better and change my life around and so I did, I started up my own company as soon as I graduated and I worked hard to make it work which it did, when SeJeong was born and I made my first million dollars.

Nothing like that would happen if I hadn't decided to change for the better and do something for myself, if I hadn't wanted a better and stable life, I wouldn't have tried so hard to make it happen and have a perfect family until she decided to leave me for someone else.

I slammed my hands loudly against the table and it scared the young guy sitting right in front of my desk. "So do you understand how much I am doing this for my SeNa? If you do, please leave her and never to come close to her ever again. She is only 17 years old and I wouldn't want her to love anyone until she is old enough to do that."