Divorced // bang yongguk (#26)

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YiYeong

I stared at the entrance of the apartment building and a hand that is holding mine tightly, refusing to let go of me. "Omma, it is not like I'm never coming back home," I told her. "I will still come back during the weekends and bring you food."

"How can you change so quickly? You were happy with Eunwoo ssi and you want to move out on your own after breaking up with him."

I won't be happy with that jerk is I were to get back together with him for the third time, me breaking up with him that day already tells me that we will never end up getting married. We only have the fate to date each other but not get married to each other for life. Why am I such a fool for not realizing that we are not meant for each other?

After breaking up with him, I had expected myself to cry and cry over a stupid guy and my stupid decisions. I was afraid that I was wrong of breaking up with him and then he would come to find me a few day's later and want to get back with him, being his eternal girlfriend again without any hint of ever getting married. And it has been a week and I never regretted my decisions of letting him go and getting him out of my life.

I want to get married and being with Cha Eunwoo doesn't allow me to achieve what I wanted, being a bride, being a wife and then the mother of our children but that won't ever happen if I continue to be with them. It is best that I end things with him once and for all, being single is better than being with him with no plans and progression in our relationship.

"You have never lived alone before and I'm afraid that you can't handle it living alone, you can't even sleep in the dark. What if it gets a blackout, what are you going to do?" She continued, even mentioning to the taxi driver that I have a fear of the dark.

I let out a sigh to stop my nagging mother. "Omma, nothing is going to happen to me. I'm 25, a very normal age to live alone and I'm going to do fine." I gave money to the taxi driver and got out of my mother's clingy hands, taking my luggage with the one hand and waved to her with the other. "Don't worry, Omma... I'm not your only child, care more about YiNa. She is still in high school."

I made my way up to my apartment which is on the 16th floor and it has 2 units per floor, each unit facing each other directly. Mine is on the right side and I noticed that the unit upstairs has a lot of commotion, as if a party is going on. I checked the time on my watch to make sure that I wasn't in the wrong timeline, it was 2 pm and they are already partying.

There will always be weird neighbours no matter where you go to... I shrugged my shoulders and made my way into my apartment, I opened the door after entering my door PIN and peeked inside the apartment. I haven't bought anything for the apartment except for a couch and a coffee table that I took it directly from my bedroom, and a bed, of course.

Other than that, the apartment is empty and I don't have that much savings to buy all the things that I needed for my own home. Even though I have a stable job as an office worker, it just isn't enough for me to sustain my daily life.

I didn't smoke nor drink but it is still very expensive to live in Seoul. I wished that I was living in the countryside, in that way my money would be saved and my life would be easier as well. The TV, the washing machine, I have to buy it someday before this year. I can live without the TV since I have my laptop and my phone with me but the washing machine, I would've to go down to the laundromat to wash my clothes all the time and it would take at least an hour each time.

I unpacked all of my belongings since I am in a pleasant mood to do that, took a very long shower after organizing all the stuff in my luggage which includes my clothes, my shoes and my makeup products. It is good to organize your stuff when you have the time but I'm sure that it would become messy the next morning, I never had the habit to always clean up after myself and there is even the need not to since I'm single.

At 4 pm, I decided to get out of the apartment to do some grocery shopping and of course to have a tour around the neighbourhood so that I would know where to go when I want to eat out, where to have a drink alone. I wore my shoes and went out of my apartment with a grey hoodie on since it is supposed to be chilly later on, I tidied my hair and my eyes landed on a child who is sitting down opposite me. He is staring at me and I stared back at him like we are supposed to do that. He is no more than 4 and he has the fluffiest hair that I had ever seen on a boy. What shampoo does he even use?

"Kid, are you lost?" I asked the kid and he is still staring at me. "Where are your parents?"

"Noona, help me get into the house. I can't get in." He asked blinking at me and I tilted my head in confusion. That is his house?

He can't get in because he can't reach... "Do you know the door PIN?" He shook his head. "The number that your Appa or Omma press when they want to get into the apartment?"

"What is that?" He asked innocently and I wanted to scream at him for being stupid but he is just a child, a 4-year-old who probably only knows Pororo at this point in time.

"Ok, where is your mother? I could help you find her."

"My mother?" He replied and I nodded. "O-omma..." He started to cry. Oh no, I screwed up... My dream as a preschool teacher has all been ruined...