Divorced // bang yongguk (#26)

사십 일

Yongguk

I waited for the lift doors to close and I took this opportunity to curse at myself while the elevator makes its way slowly to the ground level, I can't believe that I have done such a thing to her. I kissed her without her permission and she slapped while tears were welling up in her eyes, she was right to do that to me.

I must have been so crazy to think of such a ridiculous thing to do to my baby sitter, first of all, she is the babysitter that I have hired and she is supposed to be taking care of my children and she is almost 10 years younger than me, she could be my cousin or even my niece if I was even older.

That was the reason why she pushed me away, she didn't like me and I was the only one who was hoping that there was something in between the two of us but I guess that it was always me who is wishfully thinking that she could be my second love and I was wrong about it. There is no way that we can end up together and it wouldn't be a good ending either, I am glad that she pushed me away and called it off between the two of us even though nothing happened and I kissed her on the lips without asking her for permission.

If she was a stranger, I would get arrested the moment that I get out of this building but she is not, she is my neighbour and she wouldn't have the heart to do that to me.

My kids are important to me and I should be thinking about them the whole time, not thinking that I can do romance once again. That is not going to happen when I am such a messed up person, there was a reason why my ex-wife left me. I couldn't give her what she wanted in our marriage and she chose to walk out of it to choose what she needed, she went to someone else and she stayed with that very person until now.

And I am still single, even though I told myself that I should start to find love now that my children are getting older and they have a mind of their own, I shouldn't get in their way but at the same time but I have decided that I should avoid love at all costs so that I can provide the best for my children and watch them grow up, that is my only goal for them.

I opened the door to my apartment and realized that no one was there, I think that SeJeong hasn't made his way home and I told him to bring Sehyun home as soon as possible so that he can get his 8 hours of sleep so that he will wake up a happy angel tomorrow but I guess that he forgot all about it. I made a call to his phone and he isn't answering at all, did something happen to him or is he just asleep?

I have no idea and I don't have to call my eldest daughter as well because she is still angry at me and she wouldn't pick up my calls if I called her, she is stubborn and she holds grudges for a very long time. She is the replica of me and I don't like to see that side of herself but I can't blame her for that, I neglected her for too long and she started to get rebellious which I don't want to see.

I made my way back to the hospital and my children were all asleep when I got back, well except for SeJeong because I had bought him a hybrid console on his birthday a while back and he has started to get addicted to it again, I advised him to stay away from it after a few hours of playing and I don't know if he listens to me or not but he is a good boy and he doesn't disappoint me at all.

He finished up his game and he looked at me, finally realizing that I am standing in front of him for the past 5 minutes. "I thought that I told you to bring Sehyun back home and you are sitting here playing your games. How long have you been playing?" I asked him.

"Not that long, I had to wait till Sehyun is asleep so that I could play without him asking me countless questions about the games and pesters me to let him play for a while. You do know how heavy he is these days? It is hard for me to carry him on my arms and I knew that you would come back to us no matter what." He placed the controller back in the bag. "Did you see YiYeong Noona? What did you say to her?"

My eyes darted all over the place and I looked for a random item to focus on and pretend to be a cool guy for his son. "I just went somewhere else."

"You didn't, you went to visit Yiyeong Noona. I know it very well that you have feelings for her." I looked at SeJeong, how does he even know about that anyway? "So I was right, what did she say?"

"I am not giving you any answers, and Han Yiyeong told me that decided that she wanted to stop working for me and from now on, you have to start taking care of Sehyun again," I told him and he wasn't pleased with the answer that I gave him. "Go pack your belongings, we are going home right now. And say goodbye to your older sister." He waved to his Sena Noona who is currently asleep and she would be able to return home tomorrow if nothing bad happens to her.