Her Euphoria -Lizkook ONGOING April 2023

Headache

Blackpinks concert a few days before was amazing and Lisa always felt energised for days on end after their events. However on this occasion it had been a very long & emotionally draining night for her. What started as a romantic night spent indoors cocooned under a blanket watching movies had somehow turned into a night of self doubt and contemplation.

Lisa was grateful that her bangs had grown a little more covering her eyes just a fraction more than they did a few weeks ago because now they were doubling as a curtain, shielding her wavering eyes from him. He wouldn't know though because he was far too engrossed in his one way discussion, more like adoration for his ultimate female idol; IU.

Keeping her face forward she pretended to watch one of her favourite movies Tangled while trying not to let her heart and stomach drop any further than it already has when even his voice sounded like it could make heart shapes. He continued to talk about how he was sat behind her at the awards show and that he was pretending that he was singing a duet with IU as his brown orbs made heart shapes for the world to see both on the big screen and television broadcast. How he had butterflies in his stomach as he blatantly watched her and himself on the big screen much to the delight of their fans, the pink flush in his cheeks and the way they seemingly appeared to move as one as they both swayed side to side mouthing a song. For Jungkook, it was a dream come true; almost. He felt it was the closest he'd ever get to having a duet with her.

What he failed to notice was how Lisa wasn't singing along to some of her favourite songs in the movie; her usually smiling eyes and big goofy grin were sadly absent as she tried to block out the tone of his voice as he spoke of his IU. He didn't see the light slowly fade in her eyes as she tried in vein to bite her lower lip, feeling hurt that he hadn't quite caught onto the fact that when it comes to IU, all her insecurities about herself are brought to the forefront. If not by his constant fanning over her, she is reminded by the numerous fancam videos on YouTube, a constant reminder that before Lisa, there was and still is an IU. His IU, as he always put it, and his fans took delight in comparing both women and were vocal in their acceptance of IU over Lisa.

What he didn't or notice was how Lisa eventually let go of his strong fingers as he continued to slightly bounce around next to her, his excitement uncontainable. He didn't see how she shook her head slightly using her hair to further shield herself from his words. He had been talking about the non-interaction between he and his IU since he arrived an hour before and for Lisa it was beginning to feel like she would really welcome a hole appearing in the floor to swallow her whole, taking her fractured heart with her.

Lisa's eyes watered as she quietly spoke, "I'm happy for you Kook" while still watching the movie but not actually watching, but he never heard as his voice picked up slightly in volume when she spoke. Not only was she beginning to feel small, but a headache was beginning to form in her temple as she realised that she felt cold. Not because of the temperature because it was summer and the night had started off pleasantly warm. No, she was cold because Jungkook had moved away from her and although the distance was small; it could not match the distance she was beginning to feel in her heart, and that scared her.

They hadn't been official for more than a year and in that time she never once spoke to him about her dislike of his always mentioning IU every so often, it didn't make her feel any better about herself or their relationship and every time he spoke about her Lisa would feel a small piece of her heart break off and shatter into pieces. What frightened her the most was how quickly he had become her centre, how her constant need to physically hold his hand or play with his locks when they would watch a movie as his head lay in her lap his arms reaching out and wrapping them under her legs locking them close to his chest; to feel his warmth against her body was further proof that they were each other's love. The soft kisses she would plant on his forehead as his eyes fought a battle in keeping them open not wanting her to be awake alone in the dark, even if it was a Disney movie. Those moments made her feel all kinds of warm fuzzies as they revelled in each other's warmth

Yet here she was feeling the cold absence of his body warmth as words of adoration about IU spewed from his lips. Lisa couldn't take it anymore, she needed to be alone.

Without turning her head to him Lisa quietly mumbled, "Jungkook, I wasn't feeling very well today and now my head is beginning to hurt. Would you mind if we called it a night?" He turned to look at her properly for the first time since arriving, concern on his features as he notices that he can't see her profile as she is masked by her hair. He reaches out a hand to gently tuck her hair behind her ear allowing him to see the soft doll like features of her side profile. He sees her lower lip trapped between her teeth and he shifts towards her, "Baby are you ok?" moving his body to get a closer look at her, but Lisa subtlety turns her head to hide the tears threatening to escape her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine I just don't feel well", she continued, "Maybe you should head back to your dorm, I think I need to sleep this off" Lisa says hoping he we would take the bait and make his exit.
Sitting still for a moment longer looking at Lisa and waiting for her to turn to him he quietly spoke, "Yeah ok, but get some sleep and rest well ok? And don't forget to have a full breakfast in the morning", knowing that Lisa tended to skip meals every so often for no good reason.

Standing on shaky legs Lisa quickly wiped her eyes and moved forward to walk him out to the door. She felt the emotions rise to her throat almost choking her as she says a small goodbye after he places a soft kiss on her cheek wishing her a quick recovery and a promise to call her the following day. Jungkook waits for a few moments more looking her her now pale face concerned that there could be something other than a headache troubling Lisa because she was unusually quiet.

Her heart drops as the veins of doubt creep into her heart when Jungkook says, "I love you", and for the first time ever since their unofficial official coupling, Lisa didn't reciprocate.