𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 | 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐑

Chapter 28

The Uruk-hai forces would descend on Helm's Deep in only a few hours. The air was thick with the weight of hundreds of souls anticipating death, with the stark blackness of fear. I could feel my whole body heavy before I choked on the collective demands of the living and the dead, I needed to focus outside of myself for a few minutes, forget my duty and put my energies elsewhere for a time.

The men were inside, doing the best they could to prepare, hiding the women and children within the caves, bringing their sons forward, giving them weapons. There was much to be done before the orcs arrived. These men were fighting for their home and we are here to protect them and fight. Bound by love for the remainder of the Fellowship, I had followed them here and now I must do my job, The Fellowship would end here if it hasn't already.

And yet Gimli stood here, on the battlements. "Gimli?" Gimli did not turn, my hand came to rest on his shoulder. "What are you doing up here?" I stood there with him, my (H/C) hair dancing with the wind. "I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said I was keeping watch on the orcs." I glanced at the blur on the horizon. 

"Try again." Gimli shifted his weight to his other foot. "I do not care to be below with the men."

"They are good men." I said, misunderstanding Gimli's words. "I know our first meeting with them went ill, but they have strength and courage." Gimli sighed. "I know they are good men. That is why I cannot stand to be with them." He added quietly. I was quiet for a moment. "You fear the coming battle."

"Do you not?" Gimli pulled away, suddenly shamed before me. "We are outnumbered and under-armed."

"Of course I fear it." I said quietly, following Gimli. "It would be foolish not to, but to let that fear keep us from protecting this land would be foolish indeed." We stood in silence for a moment, watching the horizon, then Gimli spoke quietly. "Do you miss Erebor, (Y/N)?" There was a pause before I replied, feeling my heart beating in my chest. "With every breath..."

Gimli exhaled heavily. "Aye. Home is so far away. And this--" He gestured towards the barren plains, scarred and burned from recent battles. "This is what we must fight for."

"You distress me, Gimli." I said, concern lacing his voice. "If I did not know better, I would think you were giving into despair." Gimli looked uncomfortable. "I am not accustomed to feeling this way..." He admitted. "Ever I have faced battle willingly, ready to die for my home or family or friends. But now... Now home is far away, and I cannot help feeling that the fight is useless. That there is nothing here to preserve."

"People are worth preserving." I said firmly, moving to stand in front of Gimli. "This land may not be meaningful to you-- To us, it is just a place to fight, a place where the battle begins, but it is someone's home."

"Yes, I know." Gimli said irritably. "I know that, but I don't feel it."

"And the people here? The men and women, the friendships and marriages and families that fill their lives?" Gimli sighed again. "I know. I know it all in my mind, cousin, but my heart-- My heart can find nothing of beauty here."

I hesitated. "The people... We do not know them, much. But we must fight for them nonetheless. To fight here is to defend our own homes and families." Gimli nodded. "I just-- I wish there was something of beauty that I had with me, something to remind me why this is all worth preserving." I was silent for a moment. "You have Lady Galadriel's hair."

"Yes, but the Lady is not here." I knelt in front of Gimli, bringing their eyes to a level. "I am here. We are here." I said softly. He looked nervous, not an expression I was used to seeing on the dwarven warrior.

"What are you saying?" Gimli asked, and I hugged him, slowly, the dwarf didn't move. "I know you miss home... I do more than you might think. I miss my children, I miss Gabi, I miss the dwarves... I miss Thorin, Fili, Kili." I felt him inhale, his body quivering. "I have seen, and I believe, that we will return Gimli. No matter what happens, we will live to fight another day." Gimli embraced me slowly, and he sobbed, crying on my shoulder. "I know that hope seems but a memory, but I promise you..." I pulled back gently, meeting Gimli's gaze solemnly.