Nothing but the Truth

Part 12 The Final Chapter for Me and Derek

This part of the story is the hardest thing to talk about so I'm gonna put it straight. That day I went to Derek's house was a good day I remember going to Derek's bedroom and I was sat on the end of Derek's bed and Derek put his snapback and gillet away and I grabbed Derek's hand and sat him on the bed "what do you wanna do then Shay babe?" asked Derek "watch a film or..." I smiled a bit and said "well would you lay on me?" so Derek just laid on me and got comfy and I just began massaging his shoulders I then just gave him a little kiss and said "this isn't working for me Derek take your top off for me" and Derek stood up even though I really did wanna take his top off for him so Derek stood up and took off his green hoody (which I swear to god never got washed LOL) and before he turned round I took my jumper off and as Derek peeked over his shoulder and said "do you want me fully naked or..." his face was picture when he turned round it was like he was thinking "fucking hell fit" and I said to Derek "we'll start slow cos it's just your top I want off" Derek laid back on me but we kind of just got bored of massaging and began to make out cos he just laid on the bed I just laid on top of Derek and began kissing him I found it so cute and I was so relaxed and happy that it was such a sweet moment until we went into deeper foreplay I only remember my cheesy quote that day and that cheesy quote was "Wanna play doctor?" (LOL) but Derek knew in a way I was all tense and I needed to loosen up "Shay your not ready?" said Derek "what do you mean?" I asked "you seem really tense" said Derek "yeah I guess I am" I said and I did have him massage me. But there was one thing what was confusing with Derek and that was when he dropped down and just hid his face, he was laid on his belly and just whispered something and I just saw him and was kind of thinking "what's up with him?" and I just tapped him gently and just spoke soft I remember saying to him "what's up baby?" he kind of looked at me and said "I can't be a dad" Derek was just so cute that I just let him lay on me and then I had to get dressed. On that Saturday I actually made love with Derek but the day after was heart breaking I rememer before that Derek told me if we kept arguing it would be over and sure enough we argued for me finding out he had been flirting with other girls behind my back I could have killed him. That was the end of everything my one in six billion who had been my friend to my boyfriend was just gone and I hated my life I felt so little and everything was just a pure joke. Looking back on things now I knew I wanted him and me as friends cos to be honest friends have a longer infinity then relationships.