Nothing but the Truth

Part 19 My short relationship with Connor/Breakup

In the beginning of me and Connor being together I was so happy I was over the moon and I thought I'd found a new amazing person and everything I remember from the beginning of the relationship hurts the first week we were together we were so in love and I loved him like mad and still do but by the second week we were having arguments and I thought "it's another Derek scenerio" and that was upsetting but we were just on our third week when everything fell apart Connor said that he apparently hit women and I got so emotional one of my mates told me that I could do better then Connor while Connor was there and I remember feeling awful when I got in from college I text Connor the same gulity "hi" I text Derek me and Connor decided that we needed a break and that break went from a break to a break up I was completly heartbroken and what made the situation worse was Connor playing with my mind he told me through FB message that "When we both knew each other better we would try again and I still love you Shayleigh and I forgive you for what you said but what ruined it was us not really knowing each other and yes I still care about you but you know what I mean" and then he told me that he just wanted me and him as friends and that lead me feeling so angry, depressed and confused. That the next day at College I gave him his Adidas jacket back got no appreciation whatsoever then I tried to sort it out Connor's words I will never ever forget "I don't care" and with that I saw complete red and began to hit him I got him in a headlock and punched him I was so angry and emotional that after I did what I did I felt so gulity it was pure horrible. On Monday I saw Connor cos I went with my mate to wait for her lad and Connor was just near the stairs "hey are we still friends!" Connor called and I had to hold back my tears and just went over to him "yeah I guess your family still after me?" I said "No I stopped that" said Connor "okay thanks" I said. Realising that I thought he still liked me I couldn't help myself but I waited to long I wrote this letter saying how I felt about him but he didn't care cos he had a new girlfriend and knowing that we ended up in another row shouting and just screaming the worst thing was that he didn't even know I still liked him. Now I can't but still like Connor sadly I've only fought a losing battle and I have decided I'm gonna move on cos there's no other opinion and I seriously wish they're was. I love him but everything I did was try and one day I'll never ever love him because he will be gone and I will be with someone else. (Please note I was sat in tears writing this)