Nothing but the Truth

Part 26 How the Bad became Beautiful

Life is a battle one you do day in and out losing one day winning the next. when I was depressed it felt like all my feelings would mix together like the ying yang symbol but it was like pressed harder against the good and that would make me want to sit and cry, think of suicide and death and the further action of self harming or consider killing myself. Because I used to believe that after I'd found that happiness I wanted it would be gone before my eyes. I believe that just like Augustus Waters from the fault in our stars that I want to be remembered for all the inspirational stories and poems I've write but like some I won't be remembered for that. But I will be remembered in someways by some people (my girllos nd boy mates) as a friend and to my enemies a complete bitch and maybe even a soulmate to as the greatest most beautiful girl ever. I've also learn three Ls of Life Live, laugh, love. Live like everydays your last, love yourself and others unconditionally, laugh and smile through your pain and sorrow and always look forward to tomorrow. When I used to bring myself down I didn't do it for attention and fake sympathy I did it because of two reason
1. Because I needed that help to find some sanity
And reason 2. Was because I felt like the world hates me and because words do hurt
To be honest I did used to question my existence I'd ask three questions in my head wanting to know the answer the questions were:
1. What did I do to deserve this?
2. How can I make myself better? (Physically and emotionally)
The third and final question I would ask myself over and over again was What do you want from me and why aren't I good enough for anyone? I also never saw the beauty in anything and for a long time I believed in that. But after I got my life back on track I realised the key to cure to being happy doesn't include finding love in another person but the key to happiness is to find fun things to do, find new friends on your level and what I learned was that I got a hobby or a talent for writing my new friends 2 girls from childcare and one girl from beauty and even my new boyfriend. It's like being at the top the world. My ambitions for the future is to go on to either a childcare course or the health and social care course.