DISCONTINUED If Only Memories Could Be Erased(A Shoto Todoroki X Oc Fanfic)

Ch27: Trauma

Shoto's pov

I collapsed down onto the tiled floor, heart beating so fast it could have burst out of my chest and tears flowing like waterfalls down my eyes. In front of me was Tamaki, neck dripping with blood due to the blade in her neck and some sort of mixed up dark red substance that was too bubbly and thick to be blood alone. Her eyes were still and glazed over, the grey and Turquoise become dull colours as she stared up at nothing, mouth slightly agape. I bowed my head down, tears falling onto her ever paling skin. I was too late. She was gone. I'd tried so hard and she was gone. My breath hitched in my throat as I let out a strangled cry, pain evident in said cry. It hurt. It hurt so much. It felt like my heart had been torn out, ripped to shreds and then thrown back in my face by some unknown laughing person. Someone laughing at my misery. At my pain. I couldn't do this. It hurt to much. How was I supposed to live the pain. With the guilt of knowing that if I'd been faster. No. If I'd just talked to her and insisted on being there for then she wouldn't be gone. My eyes flicked to the blade in her neck, it's handle dripping scarlet. I reached out for the handle and gave a gentle tug. It didn't budge. This time I gave it a harder tug and it came out, blood spluttering onto the tiled floor, staining the white to a wine colour. I took a shaking grip of the handle and slowly pulled it up, my breathing picking up. Was I really going to do this? Yes. Yes I was. I pushed the blade as far as it could go into my chest right where my heart was. I felt the sharp pain hit my heart as black hit my vision. I felt my body hit the ground and then nothing.

I opened my eyes, my breathing heavy and my heart thumping in my chest. I looked around me. I was in a room with a pile of chairs in one corner and a single chair that I was sat in with a blanket wrapped around me.
"

Ah sir. Your awake" a nurse sighed, walking over to me.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You passed out on the journey to the hospital. We did some tests and we figured you passed out due to shock and exhaustion" she explained although there was no smile on her face. Everything hit me all at once then, like a brick being dropped on my shoulders.
"Is Tamaki alright?" I asked, hearing the whimper in my voice.
"I'm sorry sir but the state of Ms Aizawa is currently unknown" she replied, shaking her head. I pulled my legs close and buried my face into it as if it was an attempt at comfort or to hide my strangled sobs. Whichever it was, neither worked. The door to the small room opened but I didn't look up.
"Mr Aizawa. If you've come for information on Ms Aizawa then there hasn't been any" she replied.
"No I'm here for him" he replied. My grip of my legs tightened. Of course he'd be here for me. It was my fault. I was supposed to protect her and I couldn't even do that. I failed her. I failed him.
"Could we be alone?" he asked.
"Of course sir" the nurse replied before her shoes tapping against the laminate floor left the room, the door gently closing behind her. There was a few seconds of silence before the sound of shoes walking towards me and the sound of someone dropping a chair on the floor and then dropping in it themselves. Then there was silence. A minute. Two minutes. Three minutes.
"I'm not mad" he stated, his voice breaking through the long silence. I looked at him through the corner of my eye.
"If anything, I'm worried about how your holding up. You don't look like your handling this well" he explained, looking at me. I bit my lip, the tears still falling.
"It's not your fault. You couldn't control what happened at the licensing exam and you couldn't control her decision" he explained.
"But I was supposed to help her" I objected.
"And you have but I'm sure you know that things like this take time. I'm just as worried as you are. If not more. She's my only daughter and the only person I have left of Amano but I have  hope that she'll pull through. She's pulled through before so surely one more miracle won't hurt" he explained. I lifted my head and wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
"I heard from one of the doctors that what you saw was pretty scaring. Are you alright?" he asked. I took a tight grip on my trouser legs.
"It was horrible. She looked so helpless and I couldn't do anything to help. It feels horrible" I whimpered, my lip quivering as I spoke. I felt a hand on my back and felt my breath hitch.
"It's alright but you should probably take at least one therapy session to deal with that" he suggested. I gave a slight nod. The door opened as I snapped my head up to see who had entered. It was a doctor.
"How is she?" Mr Aizawa asked, his face morphing from the usual annoyed look to worry.
"I'm going to have to say that it's not good news" he admitted. I felt my heart drop to the floor and shatter. This couldn't be happening and yet it was. I just wanted all of this to be a nightmare and yet it wasn't. Why did the world have to be so cruel.