Right by your side || The Chronicles of Narnia

Blame

Peter sighed as he sat watching his brother, who he'd only just managed to get to sleep, to say Edmund was scared would be an understatement, and on top of that he was in alot of pain.
Susan and Lucy had left maybe an hour ago, saying they were gonna go get some lunch and that they had something to do with Mrs.Beaver, and said that they'd bring up some lunch for him and Edmund when they'd finished.
Peter expected them to be back any minute, and was rather glad, he was getting rather hungry.
Susan had tried to get him to go downstairs and have something to eat, but Peter had simply refused to leave Edmund's side.
He still couldn't quite believe that the white witch had poisoned his little brother.
As if capturing him, torturing him and stabbing him wasn't enough.
Peter thought, frowning in anger at the very thought of the witch hurting Edmund.
He cringed though as he remembered Beruna, and his little brother laying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, gasping for air and so pale, so, so pale.
Taking a deep breath he forced the memory away and instead glanced back down at his brother, reaching over to brush the hair from his eyes.
Edmund frowned in his sleep, tossing his head to the side and mumbling something Peter couldn't quite work out before relaxing again.
But he wasn't relaxed for long.
Ten minutes later he let out a quiet gasp, rolling onto his back and squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could.
"Ed?" Peter asked worrdily, his hand landing on his brothers shoulder.
Edmund jerked away from his touch, his eyes snapping open before he groaned in pain.
Peter sighed slightly in relief but found himself even more worried than before when a tear rolled down Edmund's cheek.
"Edmund?" He asked quickly.
Edmund glanced up at Peter. "It hurts." He choked.
Peter swallowed hard. "What does?" He asked softly.
"Everything." Edmund whispered, his voice cracking.
Peter sighed sadly. "Everything's gonna be alright." He said slowly. "Trust me."
Edmund nodded hesitantly, before slapping a hand over his mouth.
Peter swung around and grabbed a bucket from the floor - which Susan had had some sense to bring in before she left - and quickly handed it to his brother.
He placed a hand gently on his back as Edmund threw up, whispering calmly to him until he leant back against the headboard.
Peter sighed and (for the moment) just put the bucket on the floor beside the bed, turning back to Edmund as quickly as he could.
"Ed?" He asked.
Edmund took a deep breath before swallowing. "I'm alright." He choked, flinching slightly before coughing.
Both boys seemed to freeze when he did, that was until he coughed again, and again and once again until he - just like last time - couldn't stop.
Peter shuffled over to sit beside Edmund, grabbing his shoulders and sitting him up, wrapping an arm around his waist as he coughed.
Edmund buried his face against Peter's chest, coughing and gasping so much that he had tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Okay." Peter whispered, patting Edmund's back gently. "It's okay."
They waited for quite some time before Edmund stopped coughing, sorta half collapsing against Peter as he took a deep breath.
Peter looked down, and his heart skipped a beat when be once again saw blood covering Edmund's hands and the front of his tunic.
"Oh Ed." He choked, tears blurring his vision.
Edmund swallowed hard, shaking hard in Peter's arms. "I-" He choked but then stopped.
"You?" Peter questioned, deciding not to pull away just yet.
"I'll be alright." Edmund choked. "Don't worry."
Peter stared down at him, hearing his voice becoming more raspy by the second, and his eyes were slowly slipping shut.
"Please stay awake." Peter whispered, burying his face against Edmund's hair.
Edmund chuckled slightly. "I' try." He mumbled.
Peter sighed sadly and placed a kiss to the top of Edmund's head. "I'm so sorry." He choked.
Edmund took a deep breath. "Why - you, sorry?" He managed to whisper.
Peter swallowed hard. "It's all my fault." He muttered. "None of this would've happened if I'd just shown you I cared."
Edmund shook his head, if only slightly. "Not your 'ault." He choked, forcing his eyes to stay open for just a few more minutes. "My-" He stopped and let out a few, weak coughs before taking a deep breath. "Mine." He choked. "I shouldn't of gone to her."
Peter cringed at the pain that was clear in Edmund's voice, and it was also clear that he was having alot of trouble speaking.
"I. D - Desever this." Edmund whispered. "My fault."
"Ed we've been over this." Peter sighed sadly. "You dont deserve this."
Edmund shook his head. "...Right." He whispered. "Desever worse."
"Ed no." Peter said, his voice tight.
"Deserve death." Edmund choked. "That's what - what she said."
Peter's eyes filled with tears. "You do not deserve death." He said as firmly as he could. "You more than made up for what you did. And it wasn't your fault! She tricked you!"
Edmund shook his head. "I - I still believed her when - when she said-" He trailed off, eyes slipping shut as he collapsed against his brother.
Peter's grip immediately tightened around his waist, pulling him closer and resting his cheek on the top of his head.
"It's not your fault Ed." Peter choked. "If I hadn't of been so hard on you. If I had shown you the love I showed Susan and Lucy, you never would've gone to the witch. Never would've been captured, to-" He took a deep breath. "Hurt, stabbed and poisoned."
He stared at his brother, his eyes closed, skin pale and a look of pain on his face.
"I can't help but blame myself." Peter said, shaking his head. "I was supposed to look after you, supposed to keep you safe. I promised Mum. And I failed, I failed to keep you safe." He buried his face against Edmund's neck, taking a deep breath. "And I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I'm so, so sorry."

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