Felixity (Chanlix FF, english)

-xXChapter 9Xx-

Felix froze. Fuck, he had totally forgotten about this picture. It was always under his pillow and he haven't checked that place. Felix was too busy putting down the other pictures of Chan. „Th...this...is" Felix cutted off his own sentence. He was feeling like dying again but this time because of emberassement. Chan looked at his own face. „Why do you have a picture of myself...under your pillow?" Because I love you, thats why. „I...dont know".  Why didn't he notice  this damn picture? Chan will leave him now. No, he can't leave him! They just met and Chan is  already calling him a friend. A damn friend! Felix placed himself against the door. If he block the door, Chan couldn't escape, right? RIGHT? Chan slowly got up. „Felix.. why the hell...do you have a picture of me? Tell me please. I won't be pissed, I promise you." Chan slowly closed the distance between them. Still with that picture on his hand. „Tell me, why are cumstains on it...where you..jerking off because of me?"

Felix took a deep breath. Calm down. Please calm down. He won't kill you, He can't kill you...you didn't do somehing wrong! „How do...you know...these are cumstains? It could also been dryed milk or something else", Felix said desperatly, still wanting to dissappear and erasing the situation of Chan's head. Can't he just forget what he saw just now? „Because I know how they look like". Chan counted things together, as he saw at Felix, who had a feared look on his face. The way he was always near, smiling brightly at him,brown eyes, wich are never far away. Felix said he liked him. This little picture revealed Felix's little secret. Felix was deeply in love with him. „Do you have a crush on me?", he asked.

And Felix finally responded. Not just single words. The truth.

„Not a crush, Chan, you are my everything. I love you so much, I can't breathe when you're not next to me." That's it. A confession. Another dude that thought he was in love with him. Another dissapointement. Felix's confession made things much worse. Chan felt uncomfortable. He can't love this boy back even tough he looks so cute and adorable. His big brown eyes couldn't make him happy, his smile not a postive effect on him. Felix would be another toy that breaks into pieces after playing too long with it. Chan is still a good boy and didn't want to break Felix's  heart, so he decided to make it fast. „Look Felix...it's cute..that you love me but I can't love you back." A world broke down for Felix. He thought he would be different from all these fuckers, who put their disgusting tongue into the lovely mouth of Chan. He thouht he could be the special one for him.

„I'm sorry", Chan said as he tore the picture into pieces. „Start seing me as a friend because we can't be more." Chan has enough of all the hopeless tries to feel real love. Felix would be the first one, who he wouldn't give a chance, since Chan already knew how it would end. A desaster.  It's better if things stayed like this. Felix was near crying. His own emotions hitted him right inside his fucking thing called heart. Chan can't do this, right? He can't just leave like this. Felix wouldn't let go off him and this would not be the end of it! If he just could just make out with him, it would be already enough. Not forever but for now. He needed Chan so badly.

„It's fine....but..can we kiss? Please...just for me letting you go more easily." Chan sighted. This was not a good sign. Wanting to kiss would turn things out more painfully. He just wanted to go but seeing Felix so sad and with teary eyes, made him overthink his toughts. A little kiss can't kill, or? „Please Chan...you don't know..how badly I want to kiss you....I promise...I won't ever tell you how much I love you anymore. Is it a deal?" Deal. Chan leaned over  him and placed his lips on Felix. Finally. Felix grabbed Chans waist and pressed his body against his. His temperature got higher just because of this little touch. Chans body is perfect and would be even more perfect when he would fuck him. Oh why can't he just fuck him in this moment? Why does it has to be like this? Felix hated the world because Chan is not giving him a chance to prove him how much he cares about him.

Chan broke off the kiss but Felix wasn't ready to let go. He desperatly smashed his lips against Chans again. Hungry and lustfull. This time this kiss wouldn't last seconds. Felix wanted it to end in his bed. Undressed. Chan over him. Then he would be able to let go of his addicting lips. „Felix", Chan whispered inside Felix mouth, trying to push him away. Felix was needy. His kiss, the way he smashed his body against his. Felix wanted to fuck him. Please not. Felix was too precious to Chan to lose him already in this way. He wanted to be his friend, not another fuck. Even without desiring a reaction from his body, Chan secretly admitted that he enjoyed the way Felix kissed him. The sparkle of wildness, the desperatly touches over his body. Chan didn't love him but maybe he could make him happy. Of course he coulcn't have Sex with him but maybe pleasure Felix a bit would make the other boy a bit more comfortable with the situation. „I will help you out, okay?"

What a beautiful cliffhanger, don't you think? :')) Hope you're doing fine, kiddos <33