Felixity (Chanlix FF, english)

-xXChapter 34Xx-

The next day was rising and Felix slowly woke up. The first thing he was noticing Chan wasn't there anymore. The place next to him was empty and Felix felt cold without Chan warming him. Felix got up. Maybe Chan was making breakfast? However he didn't hear any sounds. Was he even here? Felix stumbled out of Chan's room and searched for him. „Chan?", he shouted but he didn't got a response. Then Felix heared the sound of the door. So Chan was away. Maybe he was too lazy to cook something and bought something to eat. Felix stood there silently and waited for Chan to come in. He was very upset after seing who entered the door. It was Jisung. Felix forgot about him. Everything in his mind was full of Bang Chan. „Hello, w-shit why are you naked?",Jisung quickly hode his eyes. Wait? Shit. He was being really naked. That means... he slept naked next to Chan. His heart started to pound. What a lovely tought. Felix hode his crotch and run inside Chans room. „I'll be back", he shoutet for Jisung and started to put his clothes on.

After being dressed up he walked back to Jisung, wich was giving him a curious look. „Well, I wasn't expeting you being here. Where is Chan?", he asked. „I don't know. I woke up and he wasn't there anymore." Jisung's curious look dissappeared. Seeing Felix all naked in Chan and his flat ment one thing: Chan fucked him. Jisung was always amazed of how Chan could easily forget about his exes and he even lost one to a murder. Minho. If Changbin would be murdered, he would never be happy again. Maybe he would join Changbin to death. How can Chan have another boy so fast when it would take years to forget a loved one? He knew Chan for years and he was surely a nice friend but he wasn't having the best love life.

„So.....what are your relationship to Chan?", Jisung asked Felix. „We are just friends". Oh friends with benefits? Interesting. „Sadly....", the blonde boy added. „Why?" Without even asking why, he probably knew why Felix said 'sadly'. Jisung knew a lot of boy had a crush on Chan so this boy was nothing else. He was in love with Chan but Chan dumped him. This was truly something new, because Chan got together right after the other one confessed to him. Sometimes Jisung knew Chan didn't love them but he didn't want to see the others sad. Also it was like Chan was searching for something, wich he tried to find in his exes but never found yet. Would it be different with Felix? Felix probably already confessed to him but still Chan didn't call him boyfriend. Jisung was really confused about it.

„I love him but he always breaks my heart", Felix said. Hearing this made Jisung sad. Felix was such a nice and lovely boy who didn't deserve to be treated so badly. „Come here", Jisung said and hugged Felix. He looked like he was needing a hug. „Chan can be sometimes really weird. Maybe it's better if you don't be his boyfriend....all of his exes were broken after Chan broke up with them. You better not feel the same like them." Jisung spoke empty words, because Felix was already broken by Chan. It was Felix's wish to be Chan's boyfriend even if it means to be his just for some days. Felix would enjoy every minute of it. Minho's death changed him even without knowing it. Maybe it made him to a better person who didn't want to see others in pain anymore because nobody ever made it into Chan's heart. Why him? Felix already lost his self confidence and his motivation to make his plan calling Chan his in reality. It won't work out anyways.

„Don't worry, he told me many times, I should forget about him....but I don't know how to do it... I feel so hopeless and the love is suffocating me...if I can't be Chan's...what is the meaning of life?" Jisung carassed Felix hair. Felix was very sad and said things he end up regreting later. „Don't think like this...you fall very hard on Chan, didn't you? You will get over him and find somebody wich truly loves you. I know it". Why is Jisung so nice even wothout knowing him that well? Felix felt like Jisung could be an awesome friend, wich was very good in cheering up. Maybe he should start to trust him, too. He knew Chan the best and maybe the boy with the squirrelfeatures can help him. Felix didn't know of how he was being so naive but he needed somebody right now because the tought of Chan wanting to leave him behind appeared again. Felix remember what he was  talking about yesterday and maybe Chan switched moods again. He wanted to avoid Felix again. Maybe thats why Felix haven't found him. Because Chan continued playing hide and seek.

This made Felix so sad, that he stayed in Jisung's arms. „You really think so?", Felix asked him anxiously. „Let me tell you a story. I never thought of it, too. Changbin was always so far away and I tought I would never talk to him. He was avoiding me for some time until he was starting to trust me. Please don't give up....Chan also doesn't give up...I guess...he still tries to find the right one and this takes some time... Let's hope you both find your loved ones soon". Hearing such kind words of Jisung made Felix feel a bit better. Jisung was really kind. He was apologizing him inside his head for wanting to see this kind boy in pain, before he found his love in Changbin. Felix was always scared, that Jisung and Chan could be a thing.

Felix was too scared, to end up all alone untill the end

Oh oh, do I sense a new friendship and it's Jilix? ;) 

Thank you, 3RACHA and Stray Kids for dragging me out of my insane state <3 I own you so much <3