THE ASSISTANT HE LOVED all boundaries broken [UNEDITED]✓

Depression

NB* >>>>> Play the song

Lewis Capaldi- Someone you loved

Nelly'sPOV..................

Just like that he was gone, gone like he was never here, like we'd never met, like I didn't mean a thing to him, like everything we shared was one big lie like we'd never touched,kissed, made love, connected together as one body and one soul. The only man I loved, the man who built me up when my life was at its darkest, the man who cared even though he didn't have to. Gone, it felt like a dream, a dark blurry nightmare. Warm tears ran down my cheeks as I sat in the bathtub feeling numb. I felt a sharp pain piercing through my heart, it was worse than all those traumatizing experiences I had been through with Fernando,Hell it was even worse than what I felt after losing Papa, as least with my Papa I was there, I saw what happened and I knew for sure he was never coming back.

With Jake???

I could not understand why he did it, it all felt like one big joke, and that he would be back and I'd just slap him for the bad joke, nothing he said made sense,how do you walk away from the one person who brings you happiness then claim you want them to be happier?? How do you leave the one person you feel safe and secure around, then claim it's safer?? None of this made sense, I took my phone and for the fiftieth time dialed his number, which led to voice mail once again.

"Jake. Hi. It's me, well of course you know that, seeing as how this is the fiftieth message and shit,Call me please, I don't understand I just,,," I cut the voice message unable to speak. My heart felt like it was beating at my throat, blocking all the air from traveling to the lungs. I cried until I couldn't feel my eyes, and every time I kept quiet, I would miss him allover again, and take my phone to start calling, I left him a hundred voice messages, one after the other hoping that mybe this time around he would pick up. But every try was still the same.

"Jake.. I(sigh) I don't know what to say anymore, can you just talk to me please. I am fading without you, I need you, I love you baby I love you. I love you.I am sorry I have not been expressing it right, just call me please."
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"How could you make such a selfish decision? Which part of your mind decided I didn't have a say in weather or not I want to be happy?"
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" Don't I have a say on what happens in my life?? I need you baby I know you need me too. I know it's hurting you as much as it's hurting me, come back, come back and it will be like all this never happened, we can find a better solution to whatever it is you are afraid of, we are stronger together baby please."
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"You know what Fuck you, yeah that's right macho man. You got a heart of stone right, so all is well on Your side, well guess what Paal, I am human too and I am dying. But you don't care because that's what you Want right(cries,) I am sorry baby I don't mean that, I am falling appart without you, I don't even know what I am doing right now."