I Am Me (Completed)

Chapter XXXIX

Mark's POV

Busog na busog ako. Hehe, hindi ko rin naman talaga naubos lahat. Nagtira pa 'ko para sa mga susunod na araw.

Nandito kami ngayon sa living room nanonood.

It's been 5 months nung nangyari yon at umalis siya.

Ang bilis ng panahon no?

Naging busy kami sa promotions while she was busy on her part time job. 

We were both busy but we never fail to make time for each other. Especially on her first  months alone. 

She knows she have me and she makes me feel that she acknowledges my presence but deep inside, I know it's still not enough. She was just so broken and all I can do is be there for her. 

Sometimes I'll call her on face time and I'll catch her breaking down. Minsan, I'll stay up with her whenever she's thinking too much. 

I remember one time, I tried reaching her pero I can't.  Hindi siya sumasagot or nagmemessage. It got me all worried and I almost flew to Jeju. Akala ko mawawala siya sakin. I tried to wait for her and before the night ends, she face timed me to tell me how thankful she was for having me by her side though we're miles apart. She even told me, that day, she woke up crying because she dreamed about the same thing again. When her mom left her. And what happened during the past years came back to her. How she fought for her life to survive alone until what happened five months ago. Everything poured onto her that she wasn't able to think straight. Her mind went blank and thought of taking her own life but then something came to her mind. 

*Flashback*

"I thought of taking my own life that day Mark.
Pero nagtalo ang isip at puso ko.
I thought of doing it but then you came into my mind. 
Naisip ko, If I'm gonna die today, Hindi na kita makikita.
If I die today, hindi na kita makakasama.
Hindi na kita makakausap.
Hindi ko na makikita yung mga ngiti mong nakakapagpabuhay sa dugo ko.
At higit sa lahat, 

Hindi ko na mabibigyan ng pagkakataon yung sarili kong mahalin ka.

Gusto ko pang mabuhay ng matagal para makasama ka Mark."

*End of Flashback*

Takot na takot ako non.

I thought I'll lose her. 

Nung mga oras na yun, gusto kong lumipad papunta dito para yakapin at halikan siya pero hindi pwede.

Gusto kong iparamdam sa kanya na gusto ko rin siyang makasama. 

Hindi lang matagal pero habangbuhay. 

"Ang lalim ng iniisip mo. What's on  your mind?"

"Naalala ko lang na ang tagal na pala?"

"Alin?" takang tanong niya sakin

"Ang tagal na kitang mahal. Naalala ko lang yung time that I almost lost you."

"Mark..."

"You don't know how scared I was that time. I wanted to teleport para lang makarating agad dito." Pag amin ko habang hinihimas ang buhok niya.

"But you saved me anyway. You weren't here to save me physically but you did. Mentally. You were the only person on my mind at that time. And you alone are enough to make me want to live longer."

"I didn't know I have that effect on you." biro ko sa kanya

"You do. Now you know. So you better watch your actions." Banta niya sakin.