Caught In Bliss

It's Nice To Have A Friend

It was a heavy feeling that engulfed Kat the moment she stepped into her apartment. Her throat felt sore and yet she hadn't spoken. Her lips were pressed together as she fought back the anger which bubbled up inside of her. Her pain, as it was so often hidden, was emotional. It wasn't as visible as any cut or bruise, nor did it feel the same as such. Her heart was on fire. The pressure of tears wanted to break from their hold behind her eyes. She held her breath not knowing what else to do.

            Ray placed Bernie onto the floor of the living room with a mess he refused to clean up. The silence among the couple blanketed the space in thick tension. Ray had been fed up with the talk of Dom's love for his wife, and so, he made sure it was spoken upon. The moment the brunette and Mel left for the set, Kat knew she had to just stand firm in her decision. No matter the outcome. She was done.

            "Want me to make us some breakfast?" Ray shuffled across the living room, tossing things this way and that as he cleared a path to walk. Among the items against the hardwood floor was a letter, folded neatly and tightly, the contents unknown to both in the room.

            "We need to sit down and put everything we want to say out there on the metaphorical table. I don't care how long it takes. We need to talk about this rationally and take everyone's feelings into consideration." The redhead brought up.

            "Kat..."

            "And I'm not putting up with your bullshit on the matter. So it's either, you talk and I listen before I can do the same. Or I'll do what's best for my heart."

            "Which is what?" Ray felt as if his wife's words were a threat, her gaze never leaving his as he ushered Bernie towards the backyard. The small dog happily took to the porch, his feet carrying him from one end of the deck to the next before Ray had returned. He studied Kat's crossed arms and stern gaze, her chest puffed out as she tried keeping herself calm. With a hearty sigh, Ray took a seat against the sofa as Kat sat across from him.

            "You start." She offered, putting the ball in his court. The mess among the floor was a bit of a distraction, papers and mail scattered this way and that, but instead of blowing up, Kat studied her husband. Her chest ached, her eyes steady. She pressed her lips together in order to not slip up and say something she'd regret. Ray cleared his throat, his fingers scratching against his chin.

            "I guess I should start by saying I felt betrayed when all of this came out. You weren't being truthful with me and you knew it. You just strung me along as if all of this was my idea." Ray studied the woman across from him, her face as expressionless as before. "I felt hurt. Hell, I still feel hurt. I feel as if no matter what I say to you, you'll still try to come out as the victim here. As if I should have known that this was something that was happening or would have happened. The thing is, I trusted you." He waved his heavy hand into the air, dropping it back onto his knee. "I trusted you."

            Like an endless pit forming in her chest, Kat took a breath. She held her tongue for fear of saying words that wouldn't be filtered. Trust was indeed something as valuable as gold. Once taken, or lost, it was hard to get back. Kat brushed her fingers through her hair, her lips pressed together as if glue held them. Her thoughts however, they were on one person and one person only. It was more than just a small yearning, it was more than a call of hearts finding its elusive half. She had to be truthful with herself if she wanted her husband to accept her flaws, and so she held steady, her gaze neutral.

            "I want to understand Kat, truly I do." Ray sighed, his fingers slinking against his forehead. "But where would all of this lead us if I'm okay with this? If I was okay with the lies and the way you snuck behind my back? Why is it okay for you to ask me to forgive all your sins when I am but one person?"