The Holiday That Changed My Life

Part One Hundred and Twenty Four

Astons P.O.V.

"So, what does that mean?" I asked, my heart in my throat as I felt Luce squeeze my hand quite tight.

"It means that there's still a chance that you can conceive naturally but your odds aren't going to be one hundred percent, it'll probably be edging towards the fifty-fifty mark." The doctor told us as my heart sank. I didn't even want to look at Luce right now, not in a bad way, I just knew it'd kill me.

"So there's a chance we could definitely get pregnant and a chance that we won't get pregnant at all?" Luce asked as she didn't stop squeezing my hand, her voice telling me that she was on the verge of tears.

"That's what it seems yes. Now in the chance that you can't conceive naturally, I should tell you that you do have a number of options here." The doctor said, leaning forward and clasping his hands together on the desk.

"It wouldn't hurt to know." I sighed as I leaned forward, covering mine and Luce's hands with my other hand.

I can't believe this is happening to us, never in a million years did I ever expect anything like this to happen. And it breaks my heart knowing that I'm partly to blame.

"The first option is that you could always choose a sperm donor, and that way the child would still resemble the mother. The second is surrogacy. You could choose someone to carry your baby for you, your sperm and your eggs, that way the baby is all yours, you just wouldn't be the one carrying the baby. The third is-"

"I'm sorry, I've got to go." Luce said suddenly, abruptly taking her hand away from mine as she picked up her bag from her chair and ran out of the doctors office, slamming the door behind her.

"Luce!" I called out after her, standing up from my seat. I wanted to go after her but didn't want to seem rude, seeing as this guy was trying to help us out.

"I'm sorry, this is-" I started as I turned back to face the doctor.

"There's no need, it's totally understandable. Believe me, I've had worse reactions."

"I'll bet..She's wanted kids her whole life, so have I, and I'm gutted I can't give her a baby." I sighed honestly, looking back at the door as I heard Luce sob down the corridor.

"Like I said, there's a fifty-fifty chance you could conceive naturally, so keep having sex on a regular basis. Here's some leaflets with all the information you both need, there's one in there on how to cope with all of this too..By the way, the last option was adoption, and it's a lot more complicated than it seems, so make sure to read up on it."

I took the leaflets off the doctor and shook his hand before saying thank you, planning another appointment in ten months time incase things were still the same. I picked up my jacket off the back of the chair and left the room, spotting Luce halfway down the corridor, sat up against the wall with her knees brought up to her chest, her head resting in her hands as she cried softly, not as loud as before.

My heart broke.

This is all my fault.

My fiancé was in this state because of me.

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