Chim - I'll Always Be There

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Kimberley’s P.O.V

I’m sat by Cheryl’s bedside, still holding her hand, waiting for her to wake up. It has been two days since the Doctor told us she is waking up, and I know I have to be patient.

I quickly glance at the clock on the wall. Thank god it is silent, else I would have lost my mind listening to it tick by the second day of being here... But now I feel like I have been waiting by Cheryl’s bedside for a year. Like the second hand is ticking with each minute that goes by and the hour hand only moves along once a day.

Why do I even dare to complain? It’s my fault we’re in this situation and even if it wasn’t, I would stay by Cheryl’s bedside until she woke up, whether she was asleep for only a few hours or if she was asleep for months.

I realise I never actually looked at what time it when I glanced at the clock. I just went into thought, which I have been doing a lot lately no matter how much I try to avoid it... and now I’m doing it again.

12:17.

The nurse will probably be in soon for Cheryl’s bed bath, she usually comes around half past. I help out as much as I can but when she is cleaning her private area, I don’t feel comfortable. We haven’t even been intimate with each other yet; it wouldn’t feel right touching her while she sleeps.

But what about when she wakes up? Am I really going to make her wait even longer until I will fully commit to her? and what if she gets bored and realises that I’m not worth it? It’s  bound to happen sometime, and it’s probably more likely to happen now that she has nearly died after chasing after me to make sure I’m safe. I’m not worth enough to even be chased, never mind nearly dying.

Arrgh!  Shut up!

It’s these thoughts that started it all in the first place.

‘Miss Walsh?’

I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear a small voice; I look up to see the nurse peeking around the door. At least she knocked those thoughts out of my head for a little bit.

‘Y-Yes? Sorry, I was in my own little world there’

The nurse smiles understandingly, edging the door open a little more and stepping into the room a little more.

‘I was just letting you know that I am just going for my dinner, and then I will be up to bath Miss Tweedy’

‘Okay. Thank you’ I smile gratefully.

‘Do you want me to get you anything from the canteen?’

‘No thank you. My friends are bringing something up’

She nods her head and closes the door, leaving me with m thoughts again.

I let Cheryls hand slip from mine and stand up, walking over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. It’s like it was put here to torture me. I analyse my body and scrunch my face up in disgust. Why do I have to look like this? Why do I have to eat? Why do I have to go to these lengths to look even remotely thin?...

Why am I being so selfish?! Cheryl is unconscious and has been for a week, and here I am moaning and sulking because the girls keep bringing me food to eat.

I promised I would get better and start putting weight on, even if it is just to cheer Cheryl up. At least I can say I have kept to that promise. Eating three times every day, not exercising or purging afterwards, and the girls have been a massive help to me.

But now as I turn to the side and lift my shirt to look at my appearance in the mirror, I can see I have definitely put weight on... But what if I’m too fat? I look absolutely revolting!