KaiSoo: Let Me In [Completed]

li. catastrophe

Kyungsoo

"Stop in the name of love!" I shouted, crying. Hawak ni Jongin ang kuwelyo ni Jinsu na nakasalampak sa sahig. "Tama na!" Pinaghiwalay ko sila, "Alam kong maganda ako pero 'wag naman kayong magpatayan." Tinignan ko si Jongin but kept my stance eventhough it's already making me weak. "Umalis ka na, Jongin. Ikaw din, Jinsu." Nagulat si Jinsu pero tumango lang, "Gusto kong mapag-isa."

"Kyungsoo, let's talk." Jongin said.

"What's left for us to talk about Jongin? I simplified things for you. 'Wag mo naman sanang gawing komplikado pa ang lahat. Remember what you asked me? Anong gagawin mo kapag gusto mo ng tumalon sa cliff para makasama ang mahal mo but a lot of people are stopping you?" I recited, biting my lips to stop my tears from falling, "Hindi ka pwedeng tumalon sa cliff na yun para sumunod, Jongin. You know why?" I paused, "...kasi mas kailangan ka ng mga pumipigil sayo. If I thought leaving you before could solve everything para mas hindi ka mahirapan, mas applicable na siguro ngayon yun." I looked down, haba ng dialogue ko. Pitingini. "I guess, I will forever be stuck in the dungeon of agony and wanting. I'm not doing this because I don't love you, Jongin, ok? I'm doing this because I love you so much. Too much."

Ang drama ko, natatae tuloy ako.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Jinsu and patted it for a few times, "Thank you for everything, Jinsu." I added. Malungkot man ay tumango sya. Naunang umalis si Jinsu after tapping Jongin's shoulder but Jongin remained standing for a minute. Lalapit sana sya sakin but I quickly moved backwards. Nangungusap ang mata nyang tinitigan ako. I turned my back and started walking -- not even looking back at him. I heard him shouted my name a few times pero masyado na akong naging matigas.

Paninindigan ko 'to.

Nanginginig ang kamay ko nang makabalik sa room ko. Gusto ko nalang umiyak nang umiyak pero parang tuyo na ata at wala ng mailabas ang mata ko. I let my body fell on the matress and buried my face as I cried my lungs out on the pillow. Tinawagan ko si Baekhyun na syang sinagot nya agad.

"Baek," I sniffed.

"Kyungsoo, okay ka lang?" Nagaalalang tanong nya, "Chanyeol told us everything. Gusto mo bang puntahan ka namin dyan? Luhan! Hoy, halika dito USA ka! " Narinig kong tawag nya. Luhan asked 'why' on the otherhand, "Si Kyungsoo kasi -- umiiyak."

"Hello, Kyunggie?" Luhan said, "BAKIT KA UMIIYAK? ANG DYOSA HINDI UMIIYAK AH?! 'WAG KA NGANG UMIYAK DYAN!" His voice cracked, "Okay lang yan, Kyunggie. Love will find a way.. if not now, try mo bukas. Kung hindi bukas.. marami pang bukas." Mali ata ako ng tinawagan. Leche. I talked to them a few minutes hanggang sa okay na ako. I just needed something to divert my thoughts especially ang kausapin ang alien sa amin -- si Taehyung. Gagu talaga.

"Kyunggie, maya nalang ulit ha? Don't cry na gaga ka, papanget ka nyan. May lakad pa ako -- kami ni Yoda." I rolled eyes, "May gagawin kaming importante, alam mo na." Napailing ako. Hay, alam ko na. Hindi nya nalang kasi sabihin na magyayadong sila. Nahiya pa. "Make up, make up chuva 'pag may time. Tinuhod ko kasi sya kaya yun."

"Tingini! Landi mo, Baekhyun!"

Binaba na nya ang tawag.

Napatayo ako nang may kumatok sa pinto ng room ko. Hindi ko alam kung bubuksan ko ba o ano. Baka kasi si Jongin o tauhan ni Mr. Kim? In the end, I chose to just open it. TINGINI! Nahanap nya agad ako? Paano?

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"Mr. Kim." Walang sabi-sabing pumasok sya sa loob. "P-Paano nyo ako nahanap?" Hindi ko mapigilan ang galit ko sa kanya. "Alam ko kung anong sekreto nyo! Kaya kapag hindi nyo ako tinigilan, lalabas sa media itong picture na hawak ko!" banta ko sa kanya, "Hindi ko na guguluhin si Jongin.. ples, tama na. Pagod na ako. Nacoconstipate na ako kakaiyak ko, e. "

"Just stay away from my son. I don't hate you nor look down on you. I have a dark past," He paused, "...which I guess you already know. I only want him to take responsibility of both Taeoh and Tamara which ended to this cruel doings. Ayokong matulad sa akin ang bata -- inayawan at pinagpapasahan. This is the path I want Jongin to take, that's my plan for him. I won't do anything unless you keep your distant, Mr. Do. Hindi ako natatakot sa outcomes kapag lumabas yan sa media."

Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko. I guess;

Everyone of us has their own story to tell and to be heard. Dahil hindi naman lahat ng masama, nagsimulang masama 'di ba? Something was just pushing them to do bad. Ginagawang tama kahit na mali.

"This will serve as my last warning."

I somehow get Mr. Kim. For love, you'll do anything. He was just trying to protect his grandchild Taeoh, wanting for Jongin to end up with Tamara. He doesn't know his becoming like his foster parents for forcing Jongin what he doesn't want. This is life.:(

"Mr. Kim," Napatigil sya, "Yi Beng is dying. He wants to see you until his last breath." Napansin kong nagiba ang expression ng mukha nya at napahawak sa dibdib nya. I know, he suffered too. Hindi ko alam ang dahilan kung bakit sila naghiwalay pero alam kong mahalaga pa rin ito sa kanya.

Nang makalabas sya, napasubsob ako sa sahig. Argh, ang sakit sa puso. Pitingini! Napa-angat ako ng tingin when another one came knocking. Pinagbuksan ko ito. Walang iba kundi si Tamara. Naplastikan ako sa ngiti nya. Ang plastic. Gusto nya akong makausap pero 'wag daw sa hotel. Sumakay kami ng taxi at nagpahatid sa kung saan. Hindi ko narinig sinabi nya.

"Kyungsoo, I'm sorry."

"Bakit ka naman nagsosorry?"

"Ginulo ko lang kayo ni Jongin. I should have just stayed in the States. Hindi ko nalang sana ipinaalam ang existence ni Taeoh. Hindi sana kayo nagkakagulo ng ganito. Hindi ko kayang pakasalan si Jongin," Napayuko sya at tinitigan ang daliri nya, "...knowing that he loves you. Kyungsoo, take care of Taeoh for me. You know, I won't be here for too long now."

Nangunot ang noo ko, "I'm sorry what?! Pinamimigay mo ba si Taeoh? Tanga ka ba? Ikaw ang nanay nya! Gagu 'to! Gusto mo atang itulak kita palabas ng taxi, e! Kahit na sabihing may sakit ka. Ikaw ang umire sa kanya. Hindi na magbabago yun. 'Wag mo namang palabasin na ang sama ko, Tamara kahit gusto na kitang sakalin!"

Hindi nakasagot si Tamara but she started crying. Kahit karibal ko sya, nasasaktan pa rin ako para sa kanya. She loves Taeoh that much kaya gusto nyang bigyan ito ng buo at masayang pamilya. No one could blame her. Ang mali lang, HER dreams BLINDED her. Sabi nga nila, nasa huli ang pagsisisi.

Ang tanga tanga nya kasi.. sobra.

"Now I've been thinking, should we just ran away? Para hindi na kayo nahihirapan ng ganito ni Jongin. Seeing him in that state, I just can't look at him. Nung may nangyari sa amin," Nanlaki mata ko. Tingini. Hindi ko alam yun ah? "Not intentionally, okay?" Biglang bawi nya nang makita siguro ang expression sa mukha ko, "His father only told me to put something on his drink. He called your name. He really loves you. But, Taeoh needs him." Napayuko sya, "I only have a few months to be with my son. I'm scared, Kyungsoo. I'm sorry, I really am."

Hinawakan ko ang kamay nya, "Bakit kasi ang bait mo, Tamara? I want you to fight like a lion so it would be easier for me to hate you but you're this vulnerable. Hush now, everything will be okay. You need to be strong for Taeoh. He could feel your sufferings eventhough he's still just a kid."

Mapait na ngumiti lang si Tamara.

Nag-go ang traffic light at umandar ang taxi pero pagdating namin sa intersection. Hindi ko na maexplain. Masyadong naging mabilis ang pangyayari. Narinig ko nalang ang malakas na salpok ng truck sa taxi-ng sinasakyan namin ni Tamara. I hit my head at something and, everything went black.

I could hear different voices calling me.

Pero nagfocus ako sa isang boses;

Ang boses ni Jongin.