Sometimes people were put in your path for a reason.
He'd always tried to believe that.
Just like he'd always tried to believe that sometimes the reason wasn't clear. That you had to simply rely on faith to carry you through.
He'd tried to understand why fate had given him Jimin. What once had felt like a blessing then turned into devastation, emotions so deep and visceral that he wasn't sure there was any logical reason for their existence. That one person could be capable of causing so much pain should be impossible, but he had vivid memories of weathering that storm, and the scars left behind as proof of it's existence.
Damaged. That was what he was now. Broken, yet unable to actually speak those words. It wasn't as if anyone was going to listen. Because he'd made the mistake of not telling the truth when he'd had the chance. Of not letting everything pour out of him in waves, like venom spewing thick and vile. Taking the high road, that's what it was called. All he knew was it had left him feeling like his heart had been shattered and there was no way to put it back together.
...
To those on the outside, it didn't look like a bad break up. Amicable was the word they would use. Cordial. To everyone looking in they had split on perfectly good, reasonable terms. It had been easy and quick. A perfectly clean break.
More often than not he truly regretted not telling the truth, but he had tried so hard to convince himself that it wasn't Jimin's fault.
It was all Jimin's fault. Entirely. Everything rested squarely upon his shoulders and both of them knew that. But they were the only ones, and it had somehow managed to stay between completely between them. A secret neither of them wanted to carry, but had been forced to keep. A tie that had formed between them that could never be broken or severed. In that way, he supposed, they would never be truly free of each other.
And he wanted to be free.
...
Sometimes he would get caught up in his own thoughts and lose touch with the world around him. There was never any rhyme or reason to these occurrences. No, something would just remind him of what had been and he would lose himself in the memory. It happened at the strangest times and in the weirdest places and he could never seem to control it. It wasn't even day dreaming, really. No, because day dreams were usually pleasant things that left you feeling warm and whimsical. These were more like waking nightmares that he couldn't escape from.
"Excuse me?" Somewhere far away a voice broke through the haze and he barely even caught it, not realizing it wasn't part of the vision until it came again. "Excuse me? You're kind of in the way."
Somehow he had managed to block the entire row of mail boxes, a feat he barely even noticed. How he had slipped so far so fast doing something so simple and mundane he would never understand.
"Sorry." He had barely shook the haze from his mind before he was moving, trying to at least get out of the way. He heard a key slide into a lock and the door opening, papers slipping out before the sound the metal banging against metal as it snapped closed against.
Then silence. And it was so easy to just go back to where he had been before. To let himself regress and fall back.
"You doing okay?" There was that voice again, only this time it managed to break the spell completely, and he glanced up, curious of who held such power.
Only to have the breath stolen from his lungs.
It had happened once before. All of those years ago. When he had first seen Jimin standing beneath the harsh stadium lights of their high school's football field. That magical feeling of the stars and planets aligning just perfectly to allow you to have this moment. Where your heart stopped and the air became trapped in your throat.
Jimin had been beautiful, yes, there would never be any denying that. But the person who stood before him now was beyond any definition of that word. Unreal, like he was made up of star light and sun beams and would disappear at any moment. It shouldn't have been possible for any living being to be that ethereal, that perfect, but yet one stood before him. Somehow comprised of light brown hair and dark chocolate eyes and pristine pale skin and pink plump lips and he couldn't bring himself to stop staring long enough to answer the question.
"My eyes are up here." That tone was musical, a light lilt that sounded amused now, where before there had been concern. Like he was used to this, being checked out and drooled all over by totally random strangers.
"Sorry." But he wasn't. Not really. And it showed in the way he didn't actually stop. How his eyes just wandered down. How someone could have shoulders that wide and a waist that tiny and hips that flared out so prettily and thighs that looked so strong and - and he had to stop his mind from contemplating what it was looked like from the back, because there was absolutely no one way that line of thought was appropriate.
"I know my handsome face is distracting but -" It seemed like a dream, like an out of body experience as the angel in front of him reached out, crooked fingers tapping against his chin to bring his attention upwards. "- my eyes really are up here."
"So they are." He probably sounded like an idiot. And he was willing to admit that he felt like one at the moment. But he just kept talking. "You know, they'd probably get a lot further if they made you the welcoming party instead of that grouchy guy who brought me week old cookies."
"That grouchy guy is my brother." There was amusement in his voice again, like he was used to hearing that particular line. "He's like that with every alpha."
"Who hurt him?"
"See, everyone asks that. Do you know how disappointed they are when I tell them no one? He just has the personality of a rock."
"So you got all the beauty and the personality?" What was he even doing? It was like his mouth was speaking, but the filter between it and his brain had completely disappeared.
"Oh, I also got the brains and the talent." He winked as he said it. Actually had the audacity to wink.
"Maybe you could show me sometime."
"You don't even know my name."
"Tell it to me then."
There was a soft sigh, like a release of breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. A little sound that barely made it out into the air around them.
"Seokjin. I live in 4B with my brother Yoongi."
"Jungkook. I live in 4A by myself. I'm thinking about getting a cat though."
"I'm having a really hard time believing an alpha like you isn't mated."
Something about that caused an eruption of pain deep within his chest. A reaction that he couldn't have stopped no matter how desperately he tried. All he could do was try to keep the emotion from being displayed upon his face.
"I guess it's your lucky day."
"Guess so. Well, Jungkook, I guess I'll see you around."
Just as suddenly as he had appeared the angel was gone, taking the light and warmth along with him. Left behind with the cold chill that had seemed to settle into his very soul so long ago, Jungkook could only stand by and watch as it slipped away.
